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By  Charlie Given  |  23

Then its time for a serious talk about your relationship with your husband this is kind of a red flag, it could be for alot of different reasons (sexual confidence issues, impotence, infidelity, asexual, etc.) I personally went thru something similar foolishly stayed for years only to finally realize I was nothing more to her than basically the home "bitch" if ya get what I'm saying.

By  fmlalldaynow  |  19

honestly I don't care to much in sex because of the fact of it being ruined and or used as a reward or a materialistic object for instance my ex use to use sex against me saying no sex for a week so I always doubled it saying make it two weeks idk that's how I am I just hate how something sensual and loving gets used like it's a ball in someones court do this and you'll get this or else none at all like wtf is that

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By  Charlie Given  |  23

Then its time for a serious talk about your relationship with your husband this is kind of a red flag, it could be for alot of different reasons (sexual confidence issues, impotence, infidelity, asexual, etc.) I personally went thru something similar foolishly stayed for years only to finally realize I was nothing more to her than basically the home "bitch" if ya get what I'm saying.

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  Mara Malayin  |  4

My husband is the same way. It is maybe a once a week ordeal when I’d prefer to have it at least once a day. We are very happily married, he just has low testosterone and has a stressful job. It doesn’t always mean something is wrong in the relationship.

By  bl3ur0z3  |  17

Be careful. My sister in law married a man with zero interest in sex. Except, apparently, with her 14yo daughter. Men who legitimately have no sex drive do exist, but they're rare.

By  jbuckets_404  |  38

Have hubby see his doctor for testing. He may just need testosterone-boosting (or his thyroid is out of whack possibly) and he'll certainly be better "off" for it both physically & mentally.

Good luck, OP! :-)

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  Mara Malayin  |  4

Oh thanks for the thyroid tip! My husband has a super low sex drive and we chalked it up to low testosterone, but he has been having so much trouble losing weight too...definitely going to get that tested.

By  fmlalldaynow  |  19

honestly I don't care to much in sex because of the fact of it being ruined and or used as a reward or a materialistic object for instance my ex use to use sex against me saying no sex for a week so I always doubled it saying make it two weeks idk that's how I am I just hate how something sensual and loving gets used like it's a ball in someones court do this and you'll get this or else none at all like wtf is that

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  Seeya55  |  31

That is a completely different subject, AND THAT issue lies in whom you have a relationship with. OP has a husband now who seems to have switched libido overnight. It's not withholding sex in a power position.

By  rnroy1995  |  11

You should have a conversation with him about it. Your boyfriend might just prefer the emotional connection over the physical side. If you explain your needs he should understand. I've been here and if he understands then everything should improve, you may just have to be the one to initiate the sexual situations most times though.

By  BadAtPuns  |  24

First of all, men are just as likely as women to be uninterested in sex. It's not "super rare" as people seem to think.
Secondly, have a conversation. Find out the reason; if he's never had a sex drive, it could be hormonal, or it could simply be that's he's asexual. In the former case, there are medical options. In the later case, further conversation required to see if he's the kind who hates sex, or if he's still perfectly happy to make an arrangement to suit your needs, or somewhere in between. Your needs are important to a healthy relationship, but there might need to be some back and forth til you find the least difficult arrangement.
Either way, if he covered for this fact, or lied about it, you'll want to hash it out with him that that isn't cool.
If it's not that he's never had one, then it's probably a medical issue (there are dozens) and you'll need to discuss with him how much it bothers you and how much it bothers him as to whether he's going to seek diagnosis and treatment.

But can we please, as a society, stop thinking of men as super sexual, or that there's something 'wrong' with them if they aren't? It's perfectly fine for people not to be interested in sex, and if it's being caused by a medical problem, making them feel "broken" will just make them that much more miserable and treatment that much harder.