The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 4 January 2022, 08:01

When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression

Today, again, I listened to dozens of people continue to whine about how pandemic restrictions are the hardest thing ever while continuing to battle the chronic illnesses, loss of family, underemployment, trauma, and ensuing depression I've struggled with, largely in secret, for the last 15+ years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004 You deserved it 319

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Anonymous · 14 January 2021, 23:01 ·Edmonton, Canada

Welcome to hell

Today, after meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, I found out that he, his sister, and their father enjoy talking loudly over the person who is currently talking, because what anyone else says is not worth listening to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004 You deserved it 119

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Anonymous · 8 January 2021, 05:00

Abusive

Today, my dad threatened to hit me if I didn't tell him what I had in my homework. He thinks I won't keep secrets from him this way. There's a reason I kept secrets in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004 You deserved it 96

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Anonymous · 29 April 2021, 00:30 ·Eden Prairie, United States

Chill out, dad

Today, my father is incapable of doing anything without cursing and swearing so loudly that the neighbours hear him. If I ask him what’s wrong or to stop swearing at inanimate objects, he starts yelling at me for "jumping all over him." I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004 You deserved it 167

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Anonymous · 6 June 2021, 16:58 ·Steele, United States

Student becomes the master

Today, my son's "favorite" teacher went on a tirade criticizing my "awful" parenting. About two months ago, my son got her fired after he reported her to the principal for forcing him to miss out on lunch to finish a project. Apparently, that wasn't the first time she did something like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004 You deserved it 121

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Anonymous · 1 July 2021, 02:01 ·Canada

Get me out of here

Today, I work at a super toxic workplace, where the owner/boss takes part in some rude/bullying behavior and does nothing when I'm being bullied by coworkers. As a matter of fact, he takes their side. I have been looking for a new job in what I do, but haven't had any luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 18 December 2022, 00:00

Foreshadowing

Today, I sliced my finger open on a blender while removing a sticker that said, “Sharp blade, remove carefully”. I wouldn’t have gone near the blade if it weren’t for the stupid warning sticker that needed to be removed to use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004 You deserved it 228

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notprettyenough · 2 May 2022, 10:00

Looks aren't everything, but sometimes…

Today, I've been doing some of the duties of an ex-coworker who resigned a month ago. Now they've given her position to someone else, who doesn't even have the experience all because she "looks the part more." Apparently, I need to "get laser eye surgery, get on Jenny Craig, and buy 'curl tamer shampoo'" to get promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 145

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Anonymous · 29 December 2020, 02:02 ·Australia

One-sided

Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 135

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Anonymous · 3 January 2023, 09:00

Not an Addams Family person

Today, my girlfriend spend all day pouting that I wouldn't watch 'Wednesday' with her, despite my giving the pilot a chance and hating it. Yet when I choose a show, I usually get five seconds before, "What is this? I don't like it! Turn it off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 256

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Brittney · 16 January 2023, 00:00 🌶️ Spicy

Medieval ******

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 388

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Anonymous · 18 December 2020, 08:08 ·Cleveland, United States

Grateful

Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, "Wow, is this really the best you can do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 181

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Anonymous · 14 October 2020, 14:01 ·Fredericton, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

Practical

Today, my 27-year-old boyfriend told me he hides our condoms in his Poké Ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 526

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Anonymous · 4 June 2023, 10:00 ·Miami Beach, United States

A tale as old as time

Today, I went out with a girl, I paid for the drinks, and thought everything went well, even though I didn’t make a move, I guess I wanted to take it slow. I texted later to invite her to a private beach next week, only for her to reply that she’s not gonna be available for the next few weeks because her boyfriend is coming to visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 178

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Lexxxiii · 26 March 2021, 11:01

Stuck

Today, my friend informed me that I’m not moving in with him anymore, and that his sister is taking my place. Unfortunately, I'd finally gathered the money and a car to move out of state with him. Just when I thought I was going to get away from this hellhole, I’m sinking further into never leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 95

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called the cops · 23 September 2023, 04:00 ·United States

Help yourself!

Today, my now ex was angrily moving out of our place. She slammed the door so hard behind her it bounced back wide open instead of latching. I don’t live in the best of neighborhoods. Since I was out of town, all I could do was watch helplessly on the Ring camera as my place was emptied out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 166

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Brodam · 17 September 2020, 20:01 ·Scotch Plains, United States

Priorities

Today, we began our honeymoon with a Yellowstone Park hike. Wildfires took hold at both ends of the park. We lost all cell service. Her parents and my mom worried, texted and called. My dad just logged into my Fantasy Football team to pick up a running back in this week's waiver wire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 199

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Anonymous · 11 March 2021, 20:01

Wake up Boo!

Today, my work made us all get up at 3 a.m. to head to the airport for our 7 a.m. flight, only for us to get to the airport and find out the flight is cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 97

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Me. · 16 December 2022, 03:00

You are the chosen one

Today, a cat appeared in my basement. I have cats, but not an orange one. I don't know where he came in from. I can hardly afford the two cats and dogs I already have, so keeping him is not an option, not to mention he could have a disease. But it's winter, and I feel like crap for having to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 261

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Betriz · 14 August 2023, 06:00 🌶️ Spicy

Helping hand

Today, I walked in on my live-in sister masturbating my husband. He currently has injuries on both arms and they’re both in a cast. She told me he was “horny” and needed to “take some pressure off” so she wanted to “help” because she "was home at the time.” They both seriously see nothing wrong with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 166

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Anonymous · 10 November 2022, 18:00

Kids these days…

Today, I became a grandmother. At 44 years-old. My son is 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 319

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lu… · 8 December 2020, 17:02 ·San Jose, United States

Monster!

Today, my mother decided that I'm a complete sociopath and that I don’t care that my grandmother just died. Why? Because I haven’t lost my appetite. My grief response is to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 92

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done · 11 July 2023, 06:00 ·Calgary, Canada

Delusional

Today, and for the second month in a row, my dad sent our rent money to some chick he’s been talking to, who promised 3 million if he sent dollars for bitcoin. We’re going to get evicted, and I have nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 103

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siamne · 28 March 2021, 23:00

Glass half empty

Today, after six months of eating a better diet and exercising every other day, I can now say that I am physically healthier, but the lifestyle changes have done absolutely nothing to help my depression. That was the whole reason I started doing this in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 132

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Anonymous · 15 December 2020, 04:58 ·United States

Family matters

Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 119

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Anonymous · 12 July 2022, 14:00

Spooky

Today, my mother continues to copy everything I do. So far, she's switched to seeing my doctor, my therapist, my hairdresser, and even shopping at my preferred supermarket. I've lived independently for ten years, but I'm starting to fear for my safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 118

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Anonymous · 18 February 2022, 04:00

Playing favorites

Today, I heard my daughter-in-law refer to her twin daughters, my precious twin grandbabies, as “the good one” and “the shit stain”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 193

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Anonymous · 19 May 2022, 22:00

My body is ruining my life

Today, I have six exams next week, and as of this morning, I also have appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 76

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Singleagain · 10 January 2024, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Classic

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 144

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Anonymous · 21 November 2020, 02:04 ·El Macero, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Ding dong

Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002 You deserved it 145

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