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The all-time greatest FMLs

Are men OK?

By Anon - 14/07/2023 18:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I had a manbaby on a dating app tell me that I should experience more transphobia, because I declined to sleep with him behind his wife's back. Dating as a trans person is hard enough, but WTF, dude? FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 415

Traditions suck

By Anonymous - 18/05/2022 18:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm 21 and my parents expect me to get married before moving in with my boyfriend. We want to move overseas for our careers before marrying, but my parents think that “if that’s how things are going to be, then it’s best you break up. You need to uphold to our traditions.” I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 244

It's sus to us

By Clean up time - 15/11/2023 08:00

Today, I sat my husband down for a talk for him to stop going to his female coworker’s house until 1-2am. He insists they’re doing work projects. He became so offended that I thought otherwise that he thrashed the entire living room, stomped out of the house, and slammed the door, completely dislodging it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 158

Best day of your life

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 00:01

Today, I don’t usually ask much from my dad because I know how incapable he is but after two years delaying my wedding due to Covid restrictions, I thought I could at least ask him to stay sober long enough to walk me down the aisle. More fool me I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 140

It's a cult

By Anonymous - 25/01/2021 08:01 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I found out via Facebook that my once-favourite aunt has fully bought into the QAnon bullshit about the "stolen" US election, bible quotes and all. We live in the UK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 196

This is fine

By Anonymous - 19/08/2023 16:00

Today, my husband has a chronic illness and can't work. We have 2 special needs kids who need a lot of assistance. Rent continues to go up and went up this year $570 for a total of $1800. I've taken up a second job to make ends meet, but it's increasing my depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 195

I'm not a monster, I'm a human being

By Casey - 18/03/2021 11:01

Today, on vacation my wife asked if I wanted her to take my picture. I realized it was the first time in our 10 years she had asked me that question. Moments later I realized it's the first time in my life that anyone's ever asked me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 121

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 12:00 - Germany

Today, the doctor saw in my file that I was 39 and asked me straight away, “How many kids do you have?” Not IF I had kids, just how many. Sure, a woman's main purpose is to procreate. What else could she want from life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 475

Juicy

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 18:00

Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 150

You tried

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 466

Distressed

By Anonymous - 29/08/2021 02:01

Today, my colleague pointed out with a disgusted look on his face that I'm wearing 90s clothes again. Just like every time he sees me. What does he mean by 90s clothes? Jeans. Literally any pair of jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 74

Unloveable

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 23:01

Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 94

Red flag

By LeftAndAbandoned - 11/08/2021 16:01

Today, my fiancé called off our wedding, all because I wouldn’t tell him how much my life insurance is worth. Apparently, “Lovers don’t keep secrets from one another” and, “If you’re hiding that, God knows what else you could be hiding.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 404

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 97

Never cross that line

By Anonymous - 17/10/2023 10:00

Today, my lesbian best friend told me she might be bi and wanted to try sex with a guy she trusts, AKA me. She eventually convinced me, but after we'd had 'weird best friend sex' she decided she’s a lesbian after all, and I “took advantage of her temporary confusion,” so we’re not friends anymore. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 155

What a catch

By Anonymous - 15/06/2021 08:00

Today, my boyfriend is so scared of COVID that he takes precautions beyond what health professionals recommend to satisfy his OCD. He told me he wouldn't be getting the vaccine because he "won't be controlled by the government." Not to worry, he will just continue to be the unbearable control freak he transformed into since this all began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 211

Alexa, play "All You Need is Hate" by The Delgados

By Heart broken daddy issues - 07/08/2022 04:00

Today, I learned for the first time it's possible to love your children, but not to like them at all. I learned this from my own dad, who told me he will always love me, but he never really liked me much, so now that I've moved out, he doesn't see much reason for us to see each other anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 142

Assessment time, baby

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 12:00 - Switzerland

Today, my work told my they are launching a work performance investigation. That would be OK, if the only person assessing me wasn't the same person giving me the tasks that have nothing to do with my experience, and thus causing the low performance. My kids need my work visa to stay in the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 119

Baby you can't drive my car

By Anonymous - 03/06/2021 00:01 - Australia

Today, I received a notice of a suspended driver's license on account of my epilepsy. I have to submit my license by the suspension date, or I could be fined. The suspension date was 8 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 110

All in all, you're just a…

By Bipolargal - 03/03/2023 22:00

Today, after spending 4 years without dating after an abusive relationship, and going out with who I thought was a decent guy for 6 months, I told him I have bipolar disorder and take medication for it. He responded by dumping me saying he can’t date someone who’s “crazy.” Back to putting my wall up I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 277

Wage slaves unite

By Wtf do I do - 03/08/2021 10:00

Today, I learned that I’m being forced to go back to a position I do not want, or find a new job. I’ve been with the company for 12 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 69

The tip of the iceberg

By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 07:58

Today, I didn't have enough money to tip my hairstylist, even though I thought I did and said I was, but I'm so broke, my card got declined at $50. I needed the haircut for an interview. I feel so f@%$>&* bad about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 298

Love is love

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 01:00

Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 279

Not digging for gold

By metroido - 10/11/2021 02:00

Today, my mom asked me, “Why in the world are you attracted to your boyfriend AT ALL if he isn’t rich?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 96

Suspicious coincidence?

By Confused - 20/05/2023 15:00

Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 145

Spoilsport

By fuck it - 31/05/2023 15:00

Today, my coworkers are giving me the cold shoulder since the idea of having “office dogs” or allowing employees to bring their dogs to work with them was shot down due to my severe allergies. I shouldn’t be forced to take meds unnecessarily just to be able to come do my job. They don’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 353

Insufferable

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 15:00

Today, my autistic dad asked while I was in the middle of giving birth if I could be quieter and to hurry up because he was four hours late for work. When I yelled at him, he faked one of his meltdowns so mom had to leave me to deal with him, even though it’s SUPER obvious when he’s faking. God I hate his guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 220

American Psycho

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 16:00

Today, I visited my son at work and found his secretary in the foetal position under her desk, crying. According to my son, she does that sometimes when he yells at her for making basic mistakes. My god, I’ve raised a high-powered corporate monster. Fuck that poor girl's life and also, FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 240

Free healthcare for all

By Vickie - 18/06/2021 16:00

Today, while mopping the kitchen, I ended up slipping and and knocked over the table that had my mom’s iPad on it. The screen shattered; I sprained my wrist. I asked my mom to take me to the ER. She called me "selfish" because her iPad screen repair would "cost more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 130

Supportive

By Anonymous - 28/09/2022 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 135

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The Top

Today, I finally got the courage to ask my boss why the flowers I got her for her birthday the other day were in the conference room and not her office. She told me she was allergic to them and she had such a bad reaction that it made her go home early. I made my boss sick on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 987

You deserved it 1 364

Today, I got a bill from my former attorney for the call he made to me begging me not to turn him in for stealing all my money and almost causing me lose my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 629

You deserved it 1 067

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 429

You deserved it 4 457

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 283

You deserved it 37 971

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142 966

You deserved it 7 520

Today, my mother is still insisting it must have been my fault that my husband beat me into a coma for 5 weeks, because he’s such a "nice boy from a good family" with a really successful career, so it must have been me who provoked him into it. She keeps trying to get us back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 253

You deserved it 126