The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Teethsuck · 18 August 2022, 16:00 ·North Pole, United States

US healthcare is ****** up

Today, I went to the dentist two years after having a front tooth knocked out because I could finally (barely) afford the $4000 bill for an implant. They checked me out and told me that my teeth have shifted to the point that I’ll need braces before receiving an implant, for another $4k bill. I’m sick of looking like a hick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998 You deserved it 130

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Anonymous · 15 May 2022, 02:00

Dating is hell

Today, I got stood up on a date. To add insult to injury, meeting up was her idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 16 June 2021, 18:01

All you need is hate

Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998 You deserved it 84

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Anonymous · 18 October 2022, 02:00 🌶️ Spicy

Called out on FML!

Today, I'm pretty sure I ran into an FML post written by my supposedly understanding and caring boyfriend. The post was about us not having sex in a long while. Sorry I have PTSD and therapy flared it all back up! Recurring nightmares and physical pain aren't a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998 You deserved it 494

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dinkley7 · 20 May 2021, 11:00

Where's my coffee?

Today, so far, I’ve been called the c-word, a bitch, and a douche. All by the same person, all because I wouldn't make them coffee at one in the morning. We don’t serve coffee until 6 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 109

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Anonymous · 23 September 2021, 23:00 ·United Kingdom

Worst teeth in the game

Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 132

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littl3storm · 23 December 2020, 16:59 ·United Kingdom

Tis the season to be jolly

Today, at the ripe age of 20, I spent the early hours of my morning violently vomiting blood every time I got too warm. I then had the pleasure of shitting in a plastic container for a stool sample, due to said problem, after one and half hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 92

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West of the day · 22 September 2020, 05:01 🌶️ Spicy

Forever Alone

Today, I've been feeling horny a lot lately, so I downloaded Tinder and subscribed to Tinder Gold. The only matches I've had are with bots and people saying "subscribe to my Instagram for premium content." FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 428

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Anonymous · 2 February 2021, 23:01 ·Germany

Clean up in aisle 3 please

Today, despite my asking her several times, my mom seems incapable of putting dog food in a bowl. She just throws it on the floor, where you step on it, slip on it, the doors get stuck on it and the tiles are now full of greasy dog food crumbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 15 June 2021, 08:00

What a catch

Today, my boyfriend is so scared of COVID that he takes precautions beyond what health professionals recommend to satisfy his OCD. He told me he wouldn't be getting the vaccine because he "won't be controlled by the government." Not to worry, he will just continue to be the unbearable control freak he transformed into since this all began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 212

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JohnX · 25 September 2021, 08:00

Good morning

Today, I woke up early in the morning after sleeping 3 hours. Stepped into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee like usual. I was sipping my hot coffee while studying, until I noticed a small roach skeleton. I found 3 more in my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 177

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Anonymous · 10 January 2022, 05:01

Out of it

Today, I'm sick with a fever, and on my cycle I was too tired and forgot to change my tampon, and ended up putting another one in. I woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up pulling two out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 377

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Anonymous · 28 September 2021, 11:01 ·Eindhoven, Netherlands

Irony on base level

Today, my boyfriend has been grumpy for days, because his essay on society's fixation with performance, winning awards and getting good grades got a somewhat disappointing grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 7 October 2019, 22:00

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 1 278

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Anonymous · 26 September 2020, 17:11

Fire hazard

Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 257

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Anonymous · 28 June 2022, 12:00 ·United States

Everybody needs good neighbours

Today, I got t-boned while on my way represent myself in a deposition for a lawsuit I filed against my neighbor. The other driver was my neighbor's husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 110

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peeshy · 16 May 2021, 06:01

Good to know

Today, I used the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs one, which was in close earshot of my parents. When I came out, my mom angrily asked why I used that bathroom. I explained to her that I have shy bladder, and she said, "That’s not a real thing. I can go even with someone watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 997 You deserved it 142

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Anonymous · 16 January 2021, 23:01

Unloveable

Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 96

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Anonymous · 28 September 2022, 14:00 ·Bury, United Kingdom

Supportive

Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 136

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Nico · 1 August 2021, 08:01

The pandemic is far from over

Today, I have a friend who has consumed almost every known drug in our country, but refuses to get the Covid vaccine, claiming that, "it contains the 5G, and I won't let them control me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 187

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Anonymous · 19 October 2020, 01:56

Keys, how do they work?

Today, I had to call a locksmith because I got locked out of my apartment. It cost a total of $350 to break in and repair the lock. Not even 3 hours later, I dropped my only key in the sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 840

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Anonymous · 1 September 2022, 12:00 ·Switzerland

Assessment time, baby

Today, my work told my they are launching a work performance investigation. That would be OK, if the only person assessing me wasn't the same person giving me the tasks that have nothing to do with my experience, and thus causing the low performance. My kids need my work visa to stay in the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 121

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maisie · 31 March 2021, 21:30

Skinny issues

Today, after a few months of trying to gain weight due to being severely underweight, I got a stomach flu and lost every single pound I put on, and then some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 85

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Bipolargal · 3 March 2023, 22:00

All in all, you're just a…

Today, after spending 4 years without dating after an abusive relationship, and going out with who I thought was a decent guy for 6 months, I told him I have bipolar disorder and take medication for it. He responded by dumping me saying he can’t date someone who’s “crazy.” Back to putting my wall up I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 277

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Anonymous · 6 August 2023, 18:00

Juicy

Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 152

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Anonymous · 19 June 2022, 06:00 ·Pretoria, South Africa

Jumbled up

Today, I still haven't met my SO’s traditional Indian parents, even though we have been together for 3 years, they just pretend I don’t exist. Today I also found out that my SO’s mom has cancer. I'm trying to be there for him, but he keeps pushing me away. He literally said he doesn’t know about our relationship now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 214

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Anonymous · 5 October 2021, 11:00

Blues Junior III

Today, one of my coworkers was recently promoted, so I'm now officially the last person of our team, hired in the same year, to still have "junior" as part of my job title. Not that it’s relevant, but I’m also the oldest member of the team by about 15 years, yet still "junior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 270

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Vickie · 18 June 2021, 16:00

Free healthcare for all

Today, while mopping the kitchen, I ended up slipping and and knocked over the table that had my mom’s iPad on it. The screen shattered; I sprained my wrist. I asked my mom to take me to the ER. She called me "selfish" because her iPad screen repair would "cost more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 995 You deserved it 130

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James · 16 November 2022, 12:00 ·Warner Robins, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Nocturnal emissions

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my man juice all over me. I'm 40 years-old, and haven’t had a wet dream since my early high school days. The worst part is that the only dream I remember involved going to the DMV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995 You deserved it 252

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Sorry, Doc · 10 September 2022, 01:30

Relaxed

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995 You deserved it 231

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