Money, Thief, Technology, Break-ups and Cops: Help yourself! - FML

Help yourself!

By called the cops - 22/09/2023 19:00 - United States

Today, my now ex was angrily moving out of our place. She slammed the door so hard behind her it bounced back wide open instead of latching. I don’t live in the best of neighborhoods. Since I was out of town, all I could do was watch helplessly on the Ring camera as my place was emptied out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 138

Money Thief Technology Break-ups Cops

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 721

You deserved it 1 652

By Murphs_Law - 16/11/2016 06:37 - United States

Today, my crazy downstairs neighbor was yet again fighting with her boyfriend by slamming every door. When this didn't work, she went downstairs to fight with his grill. She wheeled it to the end of the driveway and pushed it over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 148

You deserved it 801

By me - 20/12/2010 02:26 - Bulgaria

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 067

You deserved it 5 631

The key to happiness

By Luke - 25/07/2010 22:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 875

You deserved it 4 082

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 00:26 - United States - Eureka

Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 538

You deserved it 4 291

Last laugh

By Anonymous - 21/03/2023 18:00

Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 108

By Megz - 02/01/2013 17:38 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 238

You deserved it 2 742

By skygardens - 21/08/2018 15:00

Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 597

You deserved it 4 055

Give it back

By psycho - 16/02/2022 19:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 151

Next

Top comments

Hangryko 27

Saturday 23 September 2023 4:47

Why didn't you call the police?

Justkidding100 40

Saturday 23 September 2023 6:48

read the username

Comments

Hangryko 27

Saturday 23 September 2023 4:47

Why didn't you call the police?

Justkidding100 40

Saturday 23 September 2023 6:48

read the username

Hangryko 27

Saturday 23 September 2023 11:22

Oops, just read the username. Apologies.

Yudith 24

Saturday 23 September 2023 14:36

Holy nuclear revenge Batman!

HouseOfM 8

Saturday 23 September 2023 16:17

If a SO is leaving you after living together you make sure you are there incase they try to damage or steal something. YDI

J_Free_Woods 28

Saturday 23 September 2023 17:35

The person may not have had a choice because he was working out of town.

D J's MOM 17

Sunday 24 September 2023 14:03

you can sue her

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 436

You deserved it 4 846

Today, I realised I'm one of those people who can talk without caring if anyone is listening. I was telling my husband about something, and noticed he was asleep. I checked our living room camera. He was asleep when I got home and I just started talking, for 20 minutes, without realising he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 1 215

The Top

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 356

You deserved it 7 406

Today, I was called a judgemental bitch by my family for not letting my son back home after his release from prison, forgetting that none of them want to house him either, considering he did run me over with my car he was stealing to pay his debts to his drug dealer/prostitute provider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 68

Today, I woke up in a closet of a four-star hotel, having spent the night drinking. I'm a secondary school teacher and I've been visiting this place on a school trip. My flight left at 4 a.m. this morning and it's now 1 p.m. in the afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 184

You deserved it 61 217

Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 363

You deserved it 3 750

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I worked my ass off planning everything down to a T. It seemed perfect, until I actually proposed, at which point I was rejected and dumped, in front of my family, friends and two coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 302

You deserved it 5 872

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 101

You deserved it 3 492