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The all-time greatest FMLs

Horny on main

By UnsexyWife - 15/03/2023 20:00

Today, I sent my husband a bra and panties pic. He simply “Liked” it on iMessage. Yet he always comments, “Beautiful, hot, gorgeous, sexy, etc.” on bikini models he follows on Instagram’s photos, along with lovey dovey emojis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 338

Game of Thrones 2: Pig in the City

By GOT not for me - 15/09/2020 23:01 - United States

Today, I found out my ex lets our kids watch Game of Thrones during his weekend visits. Our kids are 8 and 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 203

Spare wheel

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 14:00

Today, an ex of mine told me she wanted a threesome. This was great until I realised I wasn't included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 471

No logic

By Anonymous - 26/01/2021 14:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my uncle died from COVID he contracted at church. During the service, his pastor got up and started talking about how proud he was that my uncle didn't let a pandemic stop him from going to worship. At the church. That gave him COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 204

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 621

Prepare to be dumped

By Anonymous - 23/04/2021 20:03 - Panama - Cuba

Today, my boyfriend blackmailed me for nudes. When I told his mother, he convinced her it was a joke, and both were laughing at me for being "paranoid". He now wants me to apologise for "ruining his day". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 217

Coinkydink

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 08:01 - Belgium - Roeselare

Today, my roommate told me he was bringing home his new girlfriend. When the arrived, he introduced me to… my longtime crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 217

Letting go

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 00:30

Today, my dad muttered something about the snow in Texas being fake, caused by 5G. I didn't take the bait, because it made a change from natural disasters being caused by my "homosexual life choices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 172

Targeted

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 10:01 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, the neighbor's dog has been barking for over 5 hours. It is barking directly at my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 104

Idiocracy

By Faith - 09/02/2021 11:01

Today, I got my vacation days denied because I'm "too valuable", while the moron I work with gets his days off because he's "easy to do without." Well, I guess I won't be spending much time with my girlfriend who flew across the country to see me. Glad I'm such a valuable employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 128

Backwards world

By SilverRaven77 - 19/01/2021 23:01

Today, I was fired from my job for wearing a mask. The manager said I must have Covid, since I was the only one wearing a mask and following state mandated orders. I told him, "I'll see you in court!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 231

She'll come around

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 22:05

Today, my only friend confessed she loved me, but I’m not a lesbian so I had to let her down. Apparently she thought I was a lesbian too, so she ran away mortified. I just got a text that she can’t see me anymore, because it’s too painful. I have no relatives and now no friends. I’m totally alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 154

McGastric

By Mc'xplosive - 09/10/2019 04:00

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 478

Hey, well, happy birthday anyway

By elmoisdead2131 - 09/02/2021 14:01

Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 105

Shocking reaction

By Anonymous - 01/07/2020 14:00

Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 682

Sneaky thievery

By Anonymous - 18/01/2022 05:01 - United States - Toledo

Today, we went to clear out our car. It was totaled by a drunk driver without car insurance. It was first towed to the police's impound lot, and then transferred to a garage. Everything was in the car at the police lot, but when we got to the garage, the two 12" subwoofers and amplifier were gone from the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 147

Scotland and its leccy bills

By ScottishSteak - 27/09/2019 16:00

Today, I went to my local supermarket to get my electricity topped up. Problem is, 2 of the 3 cash machines weren't working. The third was, until I tried to withdraw cash, then nope. The supermarket only accepts cash for meter top ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 125

Zapped

By Anonymous - 04/09/2022 17:00

Today, I got electrocuted at work. The boss thinks I'm faking, even though a chunk of my left hand is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 100

Thanks for the support

By Pupdog1996 - 07/01/2022 02:01 - United States - Meridian

Today, after I left a very abusive relationship a year ago, I decided I wanted to start dating again, since I'm in a much better place, and I really worked hard through therapy. I told my parents, who then told me that I'm too lazy and needy for a relationship. Progress doesn't matter I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 191

Sorry for what?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 21:30

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years said he wanted an open relationship. When I asked if it was because I wasn’t good enough to fulfill his needs, he got mad at me and now expects an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 177

Hammocking yourself

By phlox_fml - 30/05/2020 08:00

Today, I fell backwards out of my hammock, busting my shoulder. This weekend, I broke my toe falling out of it. I've used hammocks my entire life, but have become apparently unable to during the lockdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 290

TW: The final straw

By Anonymous - 04/12/2021 19:58

Today, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, because his alcohol problem is so bad that he drank his way through an old bottle of Tequila, which belonged to my mum, and that I'd kept after she committed suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 120

Spinning out and miserable

By picklemonger - 08/03/2020 16:00 - Canada

Today, for the first time ever, I had a bout of vertigo in the middle of a mall. It went so very nicely with my crushing loneliness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 158

Never enough

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 00:01

Today, I spent all day doing chores around the house, including mowing and raking the lawn, paying bills, going to the store, meal prepping, and cleaning the fridge. When I sat down to enjoy some well-earned games, my girlfriend sighed and asked if I ever planned to contribute anything to our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 168

Hey, it's the Christmas card dude!

By doglove - 23/03/2020 04:43

Today, I was looking through old childhood pictures for my father's funeral and I found one of our old Christmas cards. I looked at it and noticed in the background our two dogs enjoying very spirited sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 210

To the top

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 22:00

Today, my brother and I work for the same company, I’ve been here longer, but he got promoted first and has a higher salary. At first I was afraid he was just better than me, so imagine my relief to discover he’s still an idiot, but he’s just been dicking our manager on the regular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 131

Delirious fever days are the BEST!

By Sheila Deville - 24/10/2019 02:00

Today, it's day 5 of being out of my mind with a fever. I actually uttered the words, "Spit is a lubricant, not a frictioncant or gripperorator." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 229

The betrayal

By jealous of my friend - 14/06/2022 02:00

Today, after I invited my friend to a movie and she cancelled on me because she had to study, I obviously agreed and cancelled our tickets, I was scrolling through Instagram stories and came across hers, and saw she was with one of her friends in that same movie theater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 121

Major red flag

By Karissa - 24/08/2021 10:01

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 166

Get out of my house

By EstefanP - 13/05/2022 14:00

Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 140

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The Top

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 310

You deserved it 2 777

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 122

You deserved it 3 668

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 551

You deserved it 2 940

Today, according to my mom, she didn’t make the selfless decision to have me just for me to grow up and make the completely selfish decision not to marry my long term partner, nor to give her any grandkids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 179

Today, I found out the boyfriend of 2 years is actually 22 years-old instead of the 28 that he told me. I'm turning 39 this year and I'm very pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 507

Today, I learned why I got such a great deal on my apartment. It's located next to the trash chute. It smells utterly foul three days of the week, and it's the dead of winter now. I dread the summer heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 68