Sorry for what?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 21:30

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years said he wanted an open relationship. When I asked if it was because I wasn’t good enough to fulfill his needs, he got mad at me and now expects an apology. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 128
You deserved it 134

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This is the start of a controlling man in an abusive relationship. His anger will make you stop asking him questions. That is exactly what he wants. He wants you to not question him.

This entire situation is a red flag. No one deserves to be in an abusive situation. Not all abuse is visible and the mental/emotional abuse you're partner is inflicting on you is only going to get worse with time. It might even turn physical at some point. Run now before it's too late. You deserve better. If he wants to be able to sleep around and you're not okay with it, he can do it while single. If he truly cared about you he would recognize that he can't be what you need him to be and he'd leave and allow you to find someone who wants to love you the way you deserve. Good luck!

Comments

This is the start of a controlling man in an abusive relationship. His anger will make you stop asking him questions. That is exactly what he wants. He wants you to not question him.

This entire situation is a red flag. No one deserves to be in an abusive situation. Not all abuse is visible and the mental/emotional abuse you're partner is inflicting on you is only going to get worse with time. It might even turn physical at some point. Run now before it's too late. You deserve better. If he wants to be able to sleep around and you're not okay with it, he can do it while single. If he truly cared about you he would recognize that he can't be what you need him to be and he'd leave and allow you to find someone who wants to love you the way you deserve. Good luck!

Run fast and run far.

Well, tell him he's welcome to have an open relationship with someone else, because he definitely sounds like a douchebag.

Polyamory *absolutely* requires the willingness and ability to have mature conversations about any and every problem that can come up in a relationship. Conflicts must be approached with compassion, empathy, an open mind, the self-respect and self-understanding to set and enforce boundaries, and respect for your partners' boundaries. Jealousy must be taken as a sign of an unmet need or a fear of losing someone, rather than as a springboard for tightening control. Your relationship wouldn't last a week. However, let's address one little side issue: Nobody can fulfill all of another person's needs. Some people deal with this by having friends for the rest. Some become polyamorous. Some just live with unmet needs. The fact that he wants an open relationship isn't a critique of what you give him.

He doesn't want an open relationship. He wants permission to cheat on you whenever he pleases without you "bothering" him about it. YOU will not be allowed to sleep with anyone else though, because he's extremely toxic and you should be running before you even finish reading this.

Agree to have an open relationship... Then open the door and wave him out. Bye boy 👋