By elmoisdead2131 - 9/2/2021 14:01

Hey, well, happy birthday anyway

Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML
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By  Chazzster  |  20

There is no good time to find out your parents are getting divorced, but the timing sucked!

The divorce is not about you, it’s about the very personal relationship between your parents. They just cannot make it work. You are still their son and will always be. And each of your parents will still feel about you what they have always felt toward you. Right now they are going through a tough time.

Whatever happens, do not take sides of one parent against another. You do not know and may never know all the facts and feelings that led to the divorce. Wise parents will avoid putting their children in the middle of their squabbles. But sometimes one or both parents are too human and wind up trying to use the children against each other. Often the better parent will look the worse at first because they do not try to make a play for the children’s sympathy while the other tells things to the child intended to get their sympathy. Do not fall into the trap of taking one side over the other - That just makes their relationship problems yours.

My parents first divorced when I was in college and my brothers and sister were young. They got remarried and then divorced again a few years later. So do not think that if you can somehow get your parents to reconcile that everything will be good. It just doesn’t work that way. And I have been divorced so I have seen it from both sides. It’s a tough situation but your children and your parents will always be that.

COMMENTS
By  Michael Sawyer  |  9

hate to tell you this, but Parents NEVER ACTUALLY forget their childrens birthdays. When parents say that it is because they figure said child is now OLD ENOUGH to not have a birthday party every year. beyond Happy birthday on Facebook I haven't had birthday party/celebration since middle school.

By  Chazzster  |  20

There is no good time to find out your parents are getting divorced, but the timing sucked!

The divorce is not about you, it’s about the very personal relationship between your parents. They just cannot make it work. You are still their son and will always be. And each of your parents will still feel about you what they have always felt toward you. Right now they are going through a tough time.

Whatever happens, do not take sides of one parent against another. You do not know and may never know all the facts and feelings that led to the divorce. Wise parents will avoid putting their children in the middle of their squabbles. But sometimes one or both parents are too human and wind up trying to use the children against each other. Often the better parent will look the worse at first because they do not try to make a play for the children’s sympathy while the other tells things to the child intended to get their sympathy. Do not fall into the trap of taking one side over the other - That just makes their relationship problems yours.

My parents first divorced when I was in college and my brothers and sister were young. They got remarried and then divorced again a few years later. So do not think that if you can somehow get your parents to reconcile that everything will be good. It just doesn’t work that way. And I have been divorced so I have seen it from both sides. It’s a tough situation but your children and your parents will always be that.

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  bound101  |  7

You seem to be a very understanding person. I'm sorry that things didn't work, sometimes theres just no options and you're left hanging without a clue on what to do.

By  coius  |  23

My dad had the worst timing. My grandmother told him she was leaving his dad. Minutes before getting on a plane to Vietnam to fight in the war.