Never enough

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 00:01

Today, I spent all day doing chores around the house, including mowing and raking the lawn, paying bills, going to the store, meal prepping, and cleaning the fridge. When I sat down to enjoy some well-earned games, my girlfriend sighed and asked if I ever planned to contribute anything to our relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 308
You deserved it 160

Same thing different taste

Top comments

If she feels you are not "contributing", and won't say how you are deficient in that regard, ask her what you can do to improve your relationship. You are on point with the chores. Remind her of this and find out what her issue is.

I had a girlfriend like this, turns out her love language was gifts. Emotionally she just required constant gift receiving to feel like she was secure in the relationship.

Comments

Well…do you? Because if not…you may be better off ending it.

If she feels you are not "contributing", and won't say how you are deficient in that regard, ask her what you can do to improve your relationship. You are on point with the chores. Remind her of this and find out what her issue is.

That's enough chores for one day. Now let's talk about me.

What counts as contribution depends on the recipient. Service is only 1 of 5 love languages and doesn't sound like the one she's looking for at least in the chores sub-category.

I had a girlfriend like this, turns out her love language was gifts. Emotionally she just required constant gift receiving to feel like she was secure in the relationship.

Its great you clean your own living space, and probably work, and then spend time gaming. But when did you spend time with girlfriend, quality couple time? My first idea was red flag, jump ship, run purely because I would hate living with a man who only sees chores in his life at home (cleaning, cooking and keeping clean is a basic human skill regardless of relationship status). You did so many things that you probably had a day off, and finish everything off, and last hours of free time you chose to spend gaming because you were tired, but never once did you prioritize giving attention on your day off to your girlfriend, did you have time during the week for her or you had chores again? I feel like she might be feeling alone and a housemaid and a roommate while being close to you. Worst relationships are not abusive but the ones where one feels completely alone and lonely while being next to you. I'm going to say, nobody cares how much time you spent cleaning and doing chores, if that time came from "quality time with girlfriend" section. Imagine how this would go down with your work, family and friends "I can't deal with you right now I had a huge meal prep to do", I couldn't come to your birthday mum, dad, sister "I was busy doing chores at home", "I can't I need to mown the lawn", "I just finished cleaning I'm tired, I can't"... After collection of those and you soon might find yourself alone in your big house

Doom_Kitty 12

My husband has only so much capacity for responsible "adulting". If i want him to have enough energy and attention for quality couple things some chores have to wait one or two days. Seems to be some kind of ADHD thing. And i am a very introverted person so i need a lot of time alone anyway. As long as all that stays within a reasonable expectation range all you need is learning how to communicate about such things. Talk with her, find compromises, learn what both your needs are. Good luck :)

I had an ex like that. I just stopped doing anything. He was an absolute slob and 2 weeks before a move, I hadn't lifted a finger. He realized just how much I'd been doing