Work and Money: Seize the means

Seize the means

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 07:58

Today, I found out I make less money than the temps at my job by over 2 dollars an hour. I've been working there the longest and do 75% of the job myself. I was told, "We'll think about it" when talking to upper management about getting equal pay or close to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 87

Work Money

Vulture

Give it your best shot

Nice Dream

By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 17:31 - United States

Today, I camped outside of a Best Buy to guarantee I'd get a cheap Blu Ray player. My friend who got there five minutes after they opened also managed to get one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 333

You deserved it 41 136

By anon - 20/03/2015 21:43 - United States - Arlington

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 483

You deserved it 4 339

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 09:11 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 399

You deserved it 3 664

By BarryShitpeas - 19/09/2013 15:18 - United Kingdom - Cranbrook

Today, my enjoyment of popping bubble wrap was yet again ruined by my excessive OCD tendencies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 606

You deserved it 5 754

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 14:00 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 885

You deserved it 465

Sounds nice

By sugarbeet - 04/12/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 109

You deserved it 3 925

By dannyboy - 30/03/2012 16:44 - United Kingdom - Saint Austell

Today, an old lady savagely shoved me out of a queue, after I'd been waiting for twenty minutes. I couldn't bring myself to fight back or say anything, and ended up dragging my sorry arse to the back of the queue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 356

You deserved it 14 784

That's not how quarantine works

By Anonymous - 07/10/2021 20:00

Today, I sat down in a hair salon. The guy getting his hair cut before me then told the girl doing the cutting that he's on a 2-week quarantine and he's not sure whether or not he's got Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 08:01 - United States

Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 254

You deserved it 6 457

By Nightbird827 - 02/12/2015 14:34

Today, a police officer pulled me over. He asked me where I was headed, so I jokingly replied, "Probably to jail after you run my name". He laughed and took my information, only to then arrest me for unpaid parking tickets I never received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 917

You deserved it 8 369

By badhairday - 04/09/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, was a nice day, so I opened the sunroof and all the windows in my car. My hair started flying around and at one point it went out the sunroof. My friends thought it would be funny to close my hair in the sunroof. They laughed until they couldn't open it up again. It short-circuited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 776

You deserved it 3 396

By damnit - 27/10/2008 09:08 - United States

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 993

You deserved it 5 361

By oddbrien - 13/12/2016 03:34 - United States - Baltimore

Today, while at the club, I started dancing with a girl who I had noticed throughout the night. When she turned around she firmly stated, "I'd much rather dance by myself". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 469

You deserved it 4 323

By Danielle - 22/08/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 104

You deserved it 4 365

By Anonymous - 21/12/2014 08:51 - Australia - Elwood

Today, I noticed that even though I got all my Christmas shopping done a month earlier than usual, I forgot to put anything in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 320

You deserved it 8 286

By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 270

You deserved it 1 816

Dad priorities

By hellishome - 29/09/2019 00:01

Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 233

You deserved it 169

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 762

You deserved it 2 885

By Anonymous - 15/09/2009 18:18 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 371

You deserved it 3 945

By highschoolgrad - 08/06/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, my family and I were about to watch the video my dad took of me walking across the stage at my high school graduation. Turns out he recorded the wrong kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 157

You deserved it 3 102

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 806

You deserved it 1 505

By Rebecca - 21/05/2012 14:11 - United States - Austin

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 221

You deserved it 5 168

The more things change…

By J.O.S - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the '90s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 073

You deserved it 9 501

By DaveAlmighty - 02/07/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 142

You deserved it 12 288

By Anonymous - 09/09/2014 16:16 - Australia - Perth

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 685

You deserved it 4 118

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 198

You deserved it 96 271

By thecatlady - 27/02/2013 07:12 - Australia - Kambalda

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 718

You deserved it 4 285

By J-Ro - 04/03/2010 05:03 - United States

Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 465

You deserved it 12 302

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 22:29 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 077

You deserved it 30 288

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:18 - United States - Muncie

Today, I was called a fascist and accused of being "racist" against poor people, all because some crazy meth-mouthed bitch couldn't afford some booze and expected me to cut the price by almost 40% so she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 678

You deserved it 2 205

By TodX - 27/12/2008 08:23 - France

Today, I used my Christmas holiday time to open up a load of old letters. There were a lot of bills, of course, but there was also a note telling me that I'm due for a tax inspection. Merry F*ing Christmas! FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 714

You deserved it 5 747

By tarini - 27/05/2009 20:12 - Bangladesh

Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 715

You deserved it 121 914

By Rissa Warrington - 09/03/2012 08:30 - Canada

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 756

You deserved it 4 678

By inked - 05/02/2012 05:54 - United States

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 349

You deserved it 31 169

Hazing rituals

By newguy - 29/08/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, it's my third day at work and the hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 116

You deserved it 4 787

By Boltz719 - 23/08/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 502

You deserved it 3 853

By Anonymous - 28/01/2015 01:24 - United States - Rochester

Today, I spent over an hour shovelling the walkway and driveway, snow blowing in my face and down my coat. When I was finally finished, a guy started going through the neighborhood plowing everyone's driveways for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 409

You deserved it 2 959

By sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 903

You deserved it 175

By LetItRip - 12/07/2012 20:35 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 488

You deserved it 3 355

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 256

You deserved it 4 001

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Sunday 14 February 2021 9:31

Quit and come back as a temp. And do only your fair share of the work. You'll get paid more for doing less. Someone owes me a free lunch.

samomaha 17

Sunday 14 February 2021 16:13

Sorry to hear that, OP. Perhaps it's time to start looking for new employment. But i hope they do raise your pay, that would be the best!

Comments

Aaron Slattery 4

Sunday 14 February 2021 9:10

are you full time? do you get the perks of paid holidays and public holidays off. then there's the difference. temps don't.

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Sunday 14 February 2021 9:31

Quit and come back as a temp. And do only your fair share of the work. You'll get paid more for doing less. Someone owes me a free lunch.

rotflqtms_ 21

Send a private message

Sunday 14 February 2021 11:42

For me, Travel nurses make 2x that of staff nurses and don't do as much work. Sux, but if you can't beat em, join em.

samomaha 17

Sunday 14 February 2021 16:13

Sorry to hear that, OP. Perhaps it's time to start looking for new employment. But i hope they do raise your pay, that would be the best!

Chazzster 22

Send a private message

Sunday 14 February 2021 19:52

Do look for another job that pays more. Do not look to become a temporary worker - No insurance, no vacation, no sick days, and they are the first to be let go if business slows down.

Jesse Duff 10

Send a private message

Sunday 14 February 2021 20:13

find a better paying job and walk, no notice no nothing. You deserve way better than what they're doing to you.

tounces7 27

Send a private message

Sunday 14 February 2021 23:47

What the temps are making isn't even what the company is paying for them, they're usually paying $3-6 an hour MORE than their wage to the temp agency for providing the service.

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 5

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 776

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 998