Traumatized knob

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 19:11

Spicy
Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 006
You deserved it 4 617
Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

1dvs_bstd 41

Bro, did you get a handjob from freddy kruger?

510 2
lex1459 38

How could she possibly have looked at what she was doing and gone "yeah, I bet that feels good"

458 0

Comments

DerBuchmacher 16

your life sucks, but not your girlfriend.. sorry dude..

46 61
ExtremeEncounter 32

#1 How does his girlfriend not suck? She practically cheese-graded a guy's most sensitive region!

26 9
Llama_Face89 33

32- I truly hope so...

11 1
Awsemogreeb 19

I think They mean that literally. The bleeding was most likely caused by dry skin being rubbed raw, if the gf had done some oral this may have been avoided.

18 2
jdibartolo1 12

he was implying that she doesn't "suck dick"

3 0
1dvs_bstd 41

Bro, did you get a handjob from freddy kruger?

510 2
Steve95401 49

Or Edward Scissorhands?

51 2
cakefete2 30

Yes, #2, that's what happens when you get "wood" on Elm street.

53 2
redstone7693 29

haha I was going to say Edward scissorhands

0 12
Ololo_fml 16

she was doing it like a hibbon, I assume

0 1
lex1459 38

How could she possibly have looked at what she was doing and gone "yeah, I bet that feels good"

458 0
kent123654 14

Maybe she's really into masochism, so she thought that he'd enjoy it. Or alternatively, she could be really into sadism herself, and was enjoying the thought of causing his extreme displeasure.

44 2
xx000o 27

Maybe she doesn't know her own strength, or maybe she does and that was her not so subtle way of telling you to not ask for another one.

20 2
EvilLittleGirl 24

Maybe all of the above. Or she was multitasking and wasn't looking at what she was doing.

10 1
seriouslygrowup 11

**** gives unrealistic expectations. it was probably her first time too

4 2
MrsPegg 45

How on earth?! Did she just yank it? Her lack of knowledge makes me wonder if y'all should even be sexually active. FYL indeed OP.

125 9
mellajella 14

I don't get why some women do this. Would they like it if I shoved my whole arm up their ****** right at the get-go? Probably not, so don't grab a penis like your hanging off a building 1000 feet in the air...

27 2
Inuyasha843 12

it put the lotion on the skin or it get the hose again sorry man but next time have lube or see if she can suck it it instead

12 29
WhoopteDo 26

It was an accident, don't be too hard-on her alright?

83 7
lex1459 38

Why do I get the vibe from this comment that you've been on the other end of this situation before..?

33 5
WhoopteDo 26

Actually it was a boner joke.. cause you know.. he had a hard-on.. but I mean, I was sincere about it being an accident..

32 3
MightyThoth 7

yes being top hard on her will cause more bleeding

1 1
Mohamedegypt 13

#49 your profile pic with your comment had me dying lol!!

6 1
katttt21 20

You should've let her know she was pulling too hard and not let her continue to hurt you. That would've helped your situation a whole lot.

82 1
TheKingKen 22

She probably pulled too fast that OP didn't have the time to react. Either way, I can't help but cringe.

38 0
TrippingOnAcid 29

You don't need to lubricate an uncircumcised penis for a hand job

8 5
MDoremis 38

It all depends on how dry or sweaty your hand(s) get, how long you plan on going, how tight or loose your grip is, and the general size. I've found your safest bet is to use some lube.

12 1
TrippingOnAcid 29

Do guys with foreskins lube up when they nash one out? Naaa

1 8
Ichiya 29

But guys know their own dick. If you aren't familiar with the dick your touching be safe and lube up.

7 2
Retaheki 27

People who are circumcised don't need lube.

3 5
DaBeast2929 6

I've never used lube. always wondered why people used it. I guess this is why.

0 0