Traumatized knob

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 19:11

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 984
You deserved it 4 601

Same thing different taste

Top comments

1dvs_bstd 41

Bro, did you get a handjob from freddy kruger?

How could she possibly have looked at what she was doing and gone "yeah, I bet that feels good"


your life sucks, but not your girlfriend.. sorry dude..

ExtremeEncounter 32

#1 How does his girlfriend not suck? She practically cheese-graded a guy's most sensitive region!

Llama_Face89 33

I think They mean that literally. The bleeding was most likely caused by dry skin being rubbed raw, if the gf had done some oral this may have been avoided.

jdibartolo1 12

he was implying that she doesn't "suck dick"

1dvs_bstd 41

Bro, did you get a handjob from freddy kruger?

Steve95401 49

Yes, #2, that's what happens when you get "wood" on Elm street.

haha I was going to say Edward scissorhands

she was doing it like a hibbon, I assume

How could she possibly have looked at what she was doing and gone "yeah, I bet that feels good"

Maybe she's really into masochism, so she thought that he'd enjoy it. Or alternatively, she could be really into sadism herself, and was enjoying the thought of causing his extreme displeasure.

Maybe she doesn't know her own strength, or maybe she does and that was her not so subtle way of telling you to not ask for another one.

Maybe all of the above. Or she was multitasking and wasn't looking at what she was doing.

**** gives unrealistic expectations. it was probably her first time too

How on earth?! Did she just yank it? Her lack of knowledge makes me wonder if y'all should even be sexually active. FYL indeed OP.

I don't get why some women do this. Would they like it if I shoved my whole arm up their ****** right at the get-go? Probably not, so don't grab a penis like your hanging off a building 1000 feet in the air...

it put the lotion on the skin or it get the hose again sorry man but next time have lube or see if she can suck it it instead

It was an accident, don't be too hard-on her alright?

Why do I get the vibe from this comment that you've been on the other end of this situation before..?

Actually it was a boner joke.. cause you know.. he had a hard-on.. but I mean, I was sincere about it being an accident..

yes being top hard on her will cause more bleeding

#49 your profile pic with your comment had me dying lol!!

You should've let her know she was pulling too hard and not let her continue to hurt you. That would've helped your situation a whole lot.

TheKingKen 22

She probably pulled too fast that OP didn't have the time to react. Either way, I can't help but cringe.

You don't need to lubricate an uncircumcised penis for a hand job

It all depends on how dry or sweaty your hand(s) get, how long you plan on going, how tight or loose your grip is, and the general size. I've found your safest bet is to use some lube.

Do guys with foreskins lube up when they nash one out? Naaa

But guys know their own dick. If you aren't familiar with the dick your touching be safe and lube up.

People who are circumcised don't need lube.

I've never used lube. always wondered why people used it. I guess this is why.