Transportation, Sex, Drunk, Cars and Parents: Boozed up

Boozed up

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 21:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my coworker and I were waiting outside the bar to pick up my dad. When he got in the car, my VERY drunk dad, instead of greeting us, looked my coworker dead in the eye and asked, “Are you fucking my daughter?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 172

Transportation Sex Drunk Cars Parents

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Same thing different taste

By boss_daughter - 20/05/2015 12:03 - United States

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 568

You deserved it 14 237

Dad jokes!

By Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 362

You deserved it 5 301

Not cool

By ash203 - 12/12/2009 21:38 - United States

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss's 13-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 305

You deserved it 50 307

By whattheactualfuck - 22/01/2016 12:50 - South Africa - Durban

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 825

You deserved it 3 399

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 339

You deserved it 2 462

By shocked - 12/10/2009 14:52 - United States

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 674

You deserved it 5 676

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 140

By Forgotten - 06/09/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 681

You deserved it 4 072

Creepypasta

By QuinnyZebrass - 02/04/2013 04:11 - United States - Laveen

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 847

You deserved it 3 424

By DrunkParents - 31/03/2015 23:32 - United States - Billings

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 833

You deserved it 2 725

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 3 November 2022 4:18

Well, is he? We all gotta know now!!!

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Thursday 3 November 2022 12:54

"Not yet, but I hope to at least get a ******* from having to deal with your drunk arse"

Comments

lacedab 6

Thursday 3 November 2022 4:06

Hilarious!

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 3 November 2022 4:18

Well, is he? We all gotta know now!!!

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Thursday 3 November 2022 12:54

"Not yet, but I hope to at least get a ******* from having to deal with your drunk arse"

Keywords

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The Top

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 953

You deserved it 1 160

Today, my boyfriend asked me to untag him in our vacation photos together. Last month, he hid his relationship status and hid every trace of me. He says it’s because he doesn’t want any "social media drama" and people knowing about his "personal life." We’ve been together for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 238

You deserved it 288

The Top

Today, I found out that my extremely-flat chested cousin recently got a boob job. When my mom found out, she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!". Then she looks at me and tells me that I should get one. Everyone including my own mother thinks I should get a boob job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 063

You deserved it 5 520

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I have dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 603

You deserved it 4 422

Today, my mother found out I published a book. She demanded that I pay her all my royalties as repayment for her raising me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 807

You deserved it 1 529

Today, I took my dog back to the vet because her face was completely swollen and her stomach was bright red and blotchy. It's obviously the medication she just started, but my vet doesn't believe dogs have allergic reactions. It's the only vet in the area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 371

You deserved it 210

Today, I found out that because I'm a cop, my 5-year-old son thinks the only way he can contact me is by calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 306

Today, my husband got me a birthstone bracelet for my birthday. I open the box and it’s a Ruby bracelet - July birthday. I was supposed to have a Pink Tourmaline bracelet since I have an October birthday. Turns out he confused me with the skank he’s banging. Her birthday's in July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 218