The Top

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By B - 18/12/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 365

You deserved it 4 661

Mystery woman

By Nathalie - 30/11/2020 23:04

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend at his job. When I saw he wasn't there, I asked a co-worker, who told me his "sister" came by earlier. He's an only child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 70

Who's to blame?

By WhoopsIDidItAgain - 21/02/2022 16:00 - United States - Morgantown

Today, I forgot about the second half of a really important job interview. Guess I'll just drop out because now I can't afford college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 981

Goddam red tape

By unqualified - 04/05/2023 00:00

Today, I found out that the degree I'd assumed I had for the last 10 years was invalid due to a clerical error. Surely it'd be an easy fix? Nope. Both the degree structure and the admin system have been entirely changed between now and then. I'd have to study for two more years to validate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 112

When you have to raise the bar...

By Lewis - 27/12/2018 19:00 - France - Paris

Not much though... Just a bit higher.

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 114

Great start

By ChandaPanda - 15/03/2022 23:00 - Australia

Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 203

Now we're cooking

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 15:00 - Canada

Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 280

By scammerssuck - 11/08/2012 09:13 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 478

You deserved it 3 096

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/05/2023 03:00

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door and had to be rescued by the fire department after about 30 minutes of walking in circles with no open exit. At least they got a good laugh out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 230

By anonymous - 18/07/2013 13:53 - United States - Woburn

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 449

You deserved it 6 917

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 11:09

Today, I was supposed to close on a house. Unfortunately, our lender decided that they couldn't finance us and denied us a loan, after 3 months of us digging up paperwork, saving money, and packing. Now we have to scramble to find a new place, while our insane landlady screams at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 83

Nice day for a walk

By Anonymous - 06/10/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, I waved at a baby in a stroller whilst walking past a pub's beer garden. The baby didn't wave back. Instead, the 'mum' turned around and said, 'Why are you waving at my bag?' I then realised that it wasn't a baby stroller, just a big purse with a blanket over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 400

By Anonymous - 15/12/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 149

You deserved it 6 625

Work together!

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 05:01 - Germany - Norden

Today, our cats got in a serious fight about the rights to some prime mousing territory. The territory in question? Our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 134

Parents of the year

By ash - 15/03/2022 22:00

Today, as usual, my parents do not believe that I have schizophrenia. The hallucinations won’t stop and I still can’t get used to how scary they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 94

By bowler - 13/12/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the bowling alley. The manager was busy and asked if I could wait. Let's just say I've never bowled before, and I wanted to know how deep the hole was on the bowling ball. The interview ended with him spitting on my finger, trying to get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 718

You deserved it 33 481

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 05:39 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 648

You deserved it 38 463

Trading places

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend who trained me at the job we both work at received a promotion, which left a spot for advancement. I was chosen for the position, and now the guy she's been cheating on me with is training me. Congrats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 135

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 19:38 - United States

Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 181

You deserved it 2 356

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 26/05/2009 09:18 - Greece

Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I'm renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 754

You deserved it 3 835

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 141

Was it worth it?

By Jake - 15/10/2024 10:00 - United States - Glastonbury

Today, I went to the orthopedist resulting from an incident last Sunday during a baseball game. After crushing a hit into right field, I slid into second base, making it thankfully, toppling over the base. The orthopedist needs a STAT MRI about a possible torn ACL and a possible torn MCL. We also lost 22-1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Bedford

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 460

You deserved it 36 380

Going going gone

By Anonymous - 11/03/2022 06:00 - Germany

Today, I found some nice shirts on sale. As the prices were only valid for a few more days, I ordered them quickly. They didn’t lie about the prices changing, they just didn't mention that everything would actually be even cheaper than it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 189

You must conform!

By a disabled man with big hands - 24/05/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, my boss got mad at me for not wearing the gloves I'm provided at work. They're way too small, not to mention the fact that I have a disability which makes it even harder to put them on. What do you expect me to do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 182

By yum - 07/07/2013 05:09 - United States - Sylmar

Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 318

You deserved it 4 335

By im_not_me - 09/12/2009 12:31 - Australia

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 485

You deserved it 2 738

Slow

By WhataStrangeTripThisIs - 23/12/2020 22:58

Today, my fiancé told me he loved me just the way I am, but admitted he wished he had met me before my head injury that made me "slow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 108

Under pressure

By Yudith - 23/10/2024 09:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my colleague came back from vacation so I no longer have to do her job on top of mine. My bosses saw this as the perfect occasion to barge into my office every five minutes to hand me tasks. When I asked for a ten-minute break to do a task that needed concentration, they barged in again after five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 94

Hey big spender!

By Haley - 27/10/2024 21:00 - United States - Great Bend

Today, I opened some junk mail addressed to my fiancé and saw a credit letter about applying for a new mortgage. When I called to tell him his identity was stolen, he admitted he bought a house, and then broke up with me. I had no clue he was unhappy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 149

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The Top

Today, I was offered an incredible career opportunity in Australia, so I’d have to emigrate. It has an unbelievable pay rise too, but my husband has so many phobias of spiders, snakes, and so on, that he’s threatening to divorce me if I go, because he isn’t setting foot in Australia even to visit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 175

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 605

You deserved it 5 061

Today, I forgot to take my phone out of my bathing suit pocket before I went into the pool. It's not a high-end phone, so that's not why FML. The FML part is because I was on vacation, didn't have internet access, and the phone has no external memory card, so all the pictures I took while on vacation are lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 530

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 270

You deserved it 2 002

Today, after years of battling mental health and unemployment, I was rejected from a job packing tomatoes. Apparently I'm unsuitable for even the most basic work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 106

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 960

You deserved it 15 817