The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

The Lovecats

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 15:01 - United States - Springfield

Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 196

Deadlines whoosh by

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 12:00 - Slovenia - Destrnik

Today, I have to show my boss daily reports on my work over the last three months. She told me this yesterday. They're mandatory, but nobody has ever wanted to see them in the three years I've been working here, so I have long since stopped doing them. It's now 3 am, I start work at 7.30, and I'm not even close to done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 725

Zero rizz

By red - 21/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 137

Advice needed

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 263

Early meeting

By mycariswrecked - 20/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Tinley Park

Today, I was going to meet up with my boyfriend's mother to watch his swim meet with her. On my way to the high school, I got in a car accident. The person driving the other car was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 320

You deserved it 225

By LeoCor - 27/08/2018 20:30

Today, and for the past 2 weeks, I've had a massive pain in my throat. It went down for a while with antibiotics, but when it came back I had to go to the hospital for an emergency surgery. There was a 3 cm abscess growing in my throat. Happy birthday to me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 128

Time to bail

By Sadmomof2 - 04/01/2023 15:00

Today, during an argument, I finally told husband that I feel like he doesn’t love me or want me, but keeps me around because it’s easier since we have kids involved. I told him I would sleep in my son's room. He responded 15 min later saying he didn’t need me to. Needing and wanting are two different things. He doesn’t love me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 1 259

From second to third hand

By Olivia - 23/12/2022 03:00

Today, I wanted to sell some Jordan sneakers on OfferUp. I met up with the buyer in a parking lot. The friendly looking lady buying them said, “Thanks for the shoes, bitch!” then a guy come out, punched me, grabbed the shoes, and they both hauled ass. People saw and did nothing. There goes my kids’ Christmas gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 237

By Anonymous - 30/08/2018 23:30

Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 922

You deserved it 427

Slam dunk

By YEET - 21/12/2022 12:00

Today, I was trying to find my phone. My friend found it, and instead of handing it to me like a normal person, he threw it at me. I'm terrible at catching stuff. It bounced off my arm and landed in his cup of Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 142

I can feel this FML

By Anonymous - 06/10/2021 14:00

Today, I just got home from hospital after delivering an order of razor wire. One of the razors split my trousers and my sack open, my bollock was visibly hanging out of the giant slit in my sack and I had to go get it stitched shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 034

You deserved it 118

A little drinky-drink problem?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 21:00 - United States - Newark

Today, a local liquor store gave me a holiday gift for being such a great customer. They're not the first ones to do so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 979

Great birthday

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 05:00 - United States - Cicero

Today, I bought my boyfriend two concert tickets for his birthday to see our favorite band, and he told me he doesn't feel he loves me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 108

All is fair in love and war

By Backstabbinghxx - 15/10/2021 20:00

Today, my best friend got engaged. I would be happy for her, if it wasn’t for the fact that her fiancé was my boyfriend just 2 months ago. Upon hearing the news, I severed all ties with her. She ended up bitching me out and calling me selfish for being upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 133

**** management

By jobless! - 17/10/2021 23:00

Today, I tried to clock in at 2 pm, but the machine was malfunctioning and kept refusing my card until 2:01. Just yesterday, our manager gave a long angry speech about firing the next person who doesn’t clock in when they’re supposed to, “on the dot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 106

Lovin' it

By RAB - 18/07/2020 02:02

Today, as the manager of a McDonald's, I had to ask a group of high school kids to calm down after several complaints from other guests. Their rational response was to pour soda on my head and throw burgers at me. Upon returning from chasing them out, I sprained my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 178

Sorry seems to be the harshest word

By Anonymous - 23/10/2021 17:00 - United States - Boone

Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 177

Strung out

By Anonymous - 22/01/2023 22:30 - Australia

Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 665

Good thing IQ isn't real

By Anonymous - 26/01/2023 16:30 - Germany

Today, I was looking for flower seeds on the internet, wanting the same pretty flowers that my mom has. My mom, who lives next door, and whose pretty flowers grow seeds that I could just have picked and planted. It seems a high IQ does not prevent you from simply being stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 793

Synchronize your watches

By Anonymous - 24/12/2025 20:00

Today, I texted my partner that I was “on my way.” I then sat on the couch doomscrolling for another 25 minutes. When I finally left, I ran into him in the parking lot, holding groceries, staring at me like I’d just lied for the fun of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 831

It's good to learn!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2020 20:01

Today, I’m living in China and I asked my native boyfriend to read me the names of all the different goods at the bakery, so I can do more than just point next time. I realized why he doesn’t see the point, when he translated : "Bread, bread, bread, bread and… bread." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 227

Brain worms

By Whoops - 15/06/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, it's been several weeks, I went to the doctor for an ear infection and I still don't feel too good. It was then that I realized the doctor forgot to prescribe me medication for said infection. That explains a few things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 203

A mind of its own

By Anonymous - 15/08/2020 05:02

Today, I realized I'm getting fat. When going for a drive, I plugged my phone in to listen to music. I put the phone in my lap to start driving and my gut changed the song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 506

Invaded

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I put solar lights in my yard to finally figure out what my dog has been chasing over the fence at night. It's rats. She's been chasing rats that have invaded my backyard every night for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 204

Denial

By TedX - 19/08/2020 20:07

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 261

Survivalists celebrate Halloween too

By IHaveThePower - 01/11/2021 08:00

Today, in Nevada during Halloween night, I discovered my neighbors have something that sounds an awful lot like an explosive. I can't see anything on fire, but WHY do my neighbors have EXPLOSIVES? FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 198

Work sucks, I know

By Anonymous - 24/08/2020 20:02 - Australia - Lakes Entrance

Today, I returned to work after a week off due to severe food poisoning, after which I ended up in the ED. I was given a warning for causing an inconvenience to everyone, and next time I'm going to be sick, I should give 3 days notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 114

Oh no!

By fml - 19/02/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, the ethernet cable that I'd waited so long for arrived. I have been gaming on the stupidly unstable wifi for months and finally I thought my life would be saved. Then it turns out that the ethernet port isn't working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 238

Time to move on

By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 18:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, it's been a year since the girl I'm madly in love with completely cut off all communication with me. She called me crying a year ago, saying she couldn't do the long-distance, unaware I was planning on moving closer to her. Not once has she reached out, and has a girlfriend now. I think about her every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 338

Nice victim blaming, dude

By Awkward - 26/11/2021 16:58 - Netherlands

Today, I had to tell my boyfriend his dad was sending me inappropriate texts that made me feel uncomfortable. I tried to make him stop, but he kept going until I felt like I needed to tell my boyfriend. Who's now broken up with me because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 128

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Weddings Marriage My ex Family Love Miscellaneous Grandparents Relatable Birthday Cute Kids Embarrassing Music Neighbours Housework Awkward Transportation Airport Annoying Exhausted Sports Birds Proposal Fight Parents Racism Healthy Lifestyle Social Media Horses Animals

The Top

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 152

You deserved it 3 239

Today, I went on a date for the first time in eight months. He didn't make a move. I then asked if we were on a date. He said, "I don't know, I guess." I can't tell either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 795

You deserved it 5 664

Today, I attended my girlfriend's mother's wake. When I walked up the three-step platform the casket was on, I tripped, fell over the edge of the casket, and head-butted her mother's corpse. The adhesive holding one of her eyes came undone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 557

You deserved it 951

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 597

You deserved it 642

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 258

You deserved it 1 307

Today, my wife announced that she wants to pull our son out of school and homeschool him, because the “liberals” made schools into indoctrination centers that teach children to be, and accept, “gay pedophiles” and other “woke-ass bullshit.” Sometimes I ask myself what I saw in this lunatic lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 1 427