Intimacy, Health, Sex and Covid: Horny horny horny - FML

Horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, I’m so desperate I hooked up with a guy who has Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 2 070

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Same thing different taste

Social distancing is a thing

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 19:58 - Germany

Spicy

Today, I met a guy at a bar. Went home, got condoms, had sex. Also got Covid. First one night stand in four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 1 631

Unmasked

By crushedgal - 30/12/2021 07:59

Spicy

Today, I found out I have Covid, from a guy who ghosted me last week after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 628

By Justkillme - 15/11/2018 03:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 691

You deserved it 444

Love in the time of coronavirus

By Darkparcero33 - 28/02/2021 08:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 156

Which is worse?

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 08:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tested positive for Covid, which I got from my boyfriend. Who got it from the chick he cheated on me with. At least it's not an STI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 157

Facebook Science

By Anonymous - 23/09/2020 23:01 - United States - Waldwick

Today, I was going to hang out with my crush and tell him how I felt, but he cancelled because I had COVID 5 months ago and his mom is afraid I’m contagious. I’m safer to hang out with because I now have antibodies and can’t transmit it. I’ve also had 4 negative tests since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 156

Mystery

By Death_Arc_Angel - 22/01/2021 09:09 - Trinidad and Tobago - Fyzabad

Spicy

Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 172

Parting gift

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 02:00

Today, I was diagnosed with Covid. I've been living with my ex for 8 months. They started dating again, and their new partner broke up with them and gave them Covid, then my ex gave it to me. I was supposed to move out, and now I have to delay it further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 267

Contact tracing

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 257

By dvddtraveller - 22/04/2016 21:25 - United States - Oakland

Spicy

Today, I went to the local clinic and I met a really cute guy. We hit it off quite well, and he asked me out. It's like The Fault in Our Stars, but instead of cancer, we have STDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 821

You deserved it 7 447

Next

Top comments

j moreno 7

Saturday 5 February 2022 16:03

To quote Red Foreman: "DUMBASS!"

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 5 February 2022 16:43

Don't worry. You can't get COVID from sex. Just as long as you wore a mask and kept 6 feet of social distance, you'll be fine.

Comments

j moreno 7

Saturday 5 February 2022 16:03

To quote Red Foreman: "DUMBASS!"

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 5 February 2022 16:43

Don't worry. You can't get COVID from sex. Just as long as you wore a mask and kept 6 feet of social distance, you'll be fine.

Hangryko 29

Saturday 5 February 2022 18:37

Wow, desperate *and* stupid.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 13 February 2022 19:03

WTF is wrong with you?! The anti-vaxxers are bad enough, but this? No wonder the shit keeps spreading and won't go away. Geez, how could you possibly be that desperate? Get a vibrator or something then.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 873

You deserved it 3 148

The Top

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 945

You deserved it 3 794

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 268

You deserved it 3 197

Today, my friends and I were feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to some of Dane Cook's old stuff. We got to "The Friend Nobody Likes" and I commented that I'm glad we don't have a person like that in our group. This was followed by a very awkward silence, and someone suggesting we listen to something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 234

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 526

You deserved it 2 642

Today, my kid threw a fit on our way home, wanting me to stop and call grandma. Why? Because she was convinced I was going to wreck the car, and grandma is a good driver who won't crash. When we got home, she stopped fussing, said, "Thank god, we're home," ran up to grandpa and said, "Mom's a scary driver." She's 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 378

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 768

You deserved it 7 946