Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
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Top comments
Ubehage 32
If I was your father, I would just laugh at it. Then make sure you never forget it the next time you visit. No big deal. But I do understand the guilt and shame. FYL and YDI
Iamthebanzai22 21
If I was your dad I would send it to you with extra batteries and maybe an erotic novel. I hope he's cool about it. If anyone tells you they don't **********, they are lying.
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Comments (4)
Ubehage 32
If I was your father, I would just laugh at it. Then make sure you never forget it the next time you visit. No big deal. But I do understand the guilt and shame. FYL and YDI
RichardPencil 32
Wait until he finds out why there are no grandchildren yet.
Iamthebanzai22 21
If I was your dad I would send it to you with extra batteries and maybe an erotic novel. I hope he's cool about it. If anyone tells you they don't **********, they are lying.