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Kids is hard work

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 22:59

Today, I told my husband I wanted to make him happy by giving him a baby. He told me either I can make him happy, or I can give him a baby, but I can’t do both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 875

Treat yourself

By Anonymous - 06/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was attending a spa weekend that my husband got me, while he watches the kids. He'd swore he’d only call me in emergencies. So far he’s called me 18 times with questions on basic parenting like, "Where are the nappies?" and, "Can babies eat yoghurt?" Emergencies, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 127

Christmas hint

By SpongeBob - 26/12/2022 18:00

Today, my wife gave me my Christmas gift, a novelty kitchen sponge, then suggested I try it out on the sink full of dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 1 074

Red flag

By Nicky - 15/05/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, we realized we had a problem with two appliances. Their manuals were in a high cabinet. My husband got down the one for the appliance he was working on, but left the one I needed up too high for me to reach. I got the step stool and said, "OK" as I climbed up. My husband flipped and yelled that I am "disrespectful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 106

Kinda weird

By Cassie - 30/11/2025 03:00

Today, I turned 15, and I am allowed to wear a bikini now, so I modeled for my family. My brother (who's 18) was really wowed when he saw me. I asked what's wrong; he said, "Nothing, which is the point. I know you're my sis, not my girlfriend, but damn you have a pretty body." Is it OK that my bro thinks I'm hot? FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 169

There must be more to the story…

By Jobless - 22/05/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally mistyped "one sec" as "one sex" in a group chat at work. I apologized and corrected myself immediately, but some bitch with too much free time was so offended that she reported me to HR anyway. I'm suspended while they look into it, and my girlfriend is convinced I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 108

Meddling

By sotter42 - 20/07/2020 17:01

Today, my father-in-law decided he was going to just completely take over our engagement party, so now my fiancé just wants to go to Reno and get married there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 164

Merry little Christmas

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was uninvited to the family Christmas party. Apparently, everyone is tired of me "refusing to watch or discipline my own kids". Sure, one of them is autistic and has violent meltdowns, but I thought it took a village to raise a child? FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 1 054

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 12/01/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend, whom I live with, has been having an emotional affair with two other women, both ex-girlfriends. He's been sexting them during our one and a half year relationship, and even brought me up in their conversations, about how I'm not hotter than them and how they can suck his c**k better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 242

Free labor

By Stopmakingthishurt - 17/11/2021 01:56

Today, I finally accepted my mom will never be a good person, and I'm looking forward to her dying. Apparently, she'd been telling everyone I was a difficult child. I was cooking dinner for her and her boyfriends way back in elementary school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 117

Let me stay!

By Anonymous - 17/11/2021 23:00

Today, I quit my job, mainly because I didn't work enough hours and thus, earn enough money. In the past, they said there isn't any other paid work they could provide. They've now added different tasks, more money, and more hours to the position. I'm helping to find a replacement for a job I would otherwise apply to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 177

Change it!

By man down! man down... - 01/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 392

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 14/02/2023 22:00

Today, I took my date to a restaurant but I had no idea how picky of an eater she is. Our waiter had to practically use 3 pages in his notebook just to write down all her special requests for this single meal. By the end, I could see he really wanted to ask if she was being serious or taking the piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 121

Back to training

By why me - 16/02/2023 06:00

Today, I started my job at a warehouse. I was the only person in my training group who needed help wrapping a pallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 218

Brain worms

By smooth - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 892

You deserved it 19 131

Might never happen, love

By Anonymous - 11/09/2020 05:02

Today, I was blocked by a girl I like. She said I was mean for not understanding why she hates when people tell her to smile. I worked as a waiter and hated when people told me to smile all the time. Yet I'm the one who doesn't understand, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 405

Summer lovin'

By I wish I was making this up - 15/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out my cat and my roommate's dog are apparently lesbians who are into what is basically bestiality to us humans. Despite both being female (and fixed), his dog tried to hump my cat, and my cat didn't resist at all. Trying to get his dog off my cat took way more effort than it should have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 120

Fumbled

By Dean - 23/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 697

Respect

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 15:00

Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 209

Breaking mom

By Fuck motherhood - 01/03/2026 03:00

Today, I'm so sick of being a mom. I have a screaming toddler and a squalling infant, tearing up the house and stinking up every room, and my husband still has the balls to not only be happy, but ask for ANOTHER. I'm about to walk, dump the kids with his smiley ass, and take his rich family's money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 677

Tiger King

By ??? - 12/10/2020 17:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I asked my wife how we could spice up our sex life. She wants me to dress up and talk like Joe Exotic. No, she wasn’t kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 241

By Snowtoe - 14/01/2017 14:00

Today, I'm at my grandparents' house to help clear snow. I was making a path to the driveway by pushing the snow out of the way. I saw a big pile and went to kick it really hard. Alas, it was a step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 460

You deserved it 3 186

The Matrix

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 13:59

Today, my husband and my kids seem to think that all of them sitting in the same room, engrossed in electronic devices, is a valid form of child/parent relationship. Whenever I try to interfere by, for example, suggesting a trip out or a game night, I get glared at like I suggested swimming with piranhas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 271

Love is complicated

By Anonymous - 31/12/2021 17:01

Today, if I’m not at work, I’m spending my time racing back and forth between sheer relief that I’m no longer married to my ex-husband and that I’ve got my freedom and independence back, and bursting into tears because the slightest thing reminds me of him, and I miss the awful twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 274

Inflation

By Anonymous - 31/01/2022 02:00

Today, despite house prices in my area being the highest they've been in ten years, my mother insists that the reason I can't afford one is not due to insane inflation, but because I'm single. She also seems to conveniently forget that she was a large contributing factor to the end of my last relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 150

What?

By Patrick - 29/10/2020 08:08 - Trinidad and Tobago - Couva

Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 110

I need this

By Toosicktoquit - 07/04/2025 06:24 - United States - Omaha

Today, I woke up in the ER after constant coughing and pneumonia made me pass out. I told my boss I was in the hospital with an infection and 235/163 blood pressure, so I wouldn’t be in. His response was, “So, you are a lazy POS and expect your colleagues to cover you?” I’d quit if my health was better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 197

tiptoppc tells us more.

tiptoppc 19

Sunday 6 April 2025 21:05

An update: I ended up quitting in February and am starting a new job in about a week from now. It wasn’t easy finding a tech job in middle of the Midwest in the current market conditions, but getting a new job came with appreciation of my skills and a pay raise, and i know reputation of new employer. Me leaving created a shit show at old job as all my scripts were deleted. The ones my ex coworkers used to do their job. At least my last two weeks were paid with no need to do work (due to my former admin rights and damage any kind of revenge acts could cause, in this case totally justified and they followed proper protocol for my type of access), but from my contact with ex coworkers shows shit went south due to it. I’m looking forward to the new job as well.

Music nerds of the world unite!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2020 05:03

Today, I woke up this morning to find out I have lost all ability to hear. Not only is that medically concerning, it also means that now I can’t listen to the new albums I just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 107

Father, you mean father

By Anonymous - 17/11/2020 02:02

Today, I found out wife has two baby daddies for our two kids. I’m neither one’s baby daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 109

Goof friends

By Headshotsgal - 22/04/2023 22:00

Today, I uploaded what I thought were beautiful selfies. One of my "friends" commented, "I've seen what your whole body looks like, so that's why you take only headshots. You're not fooling anybody, fatty." His comment got 18 likes. I took down the photos and spent the rest of my afternoon in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 251

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Keywords

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The Top

The Top

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 133

You deserved it 3 963

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 340

You deserved it 67 858

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 251

Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 181

Today, I'm in love with my best friend. We are intimate but live 24 hours away from one another. We had been discussing him moving closer to me, which was a recent turn of events and I was elated. We could finally be together… until some unexpected tragic news uncovered a kid he wasn't aware of. Now he's a single dad and staying put. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 137

Today, my first time having sex was in the back of her car in my university parking garage. We went for hours with people walking all around us not noticing, because we fogged up the car after a while. While I got out, I noticed my best friend with the biggest grin taking a picture of me getting out of her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 410