The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Crushed

By Anonymous - 22/02/2022 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, after I confessed my feelings towards my long time crush two weeks ago and was rejected, he messaged me asking for a quick fuck, with no strings attached. I guess that’s all I am good for now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 236

He'll get used to it

By Anonymous - 26/05/2023 00:02

Today, I knew my husband was struggling mentally with being a new dad, but I had no idea how much until I found he had set an 18 year timer on his computer entitled, “Not long to go, you can make it!” Our son is only 6 days old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 208

Hair-raising

By what the fuck????? - 18/02/2022 00:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 275

The new economy

By Anonymous - 22/12/2020 19:58 - Germany

Today, I have so little faith in my future earning potential that I keep my clipped toe and fingernails as a nest egg. I heard that some weirdos on the internet actually pay money for those. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 994

You fool

By Anonymous - 25/10/2024 12:00 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, my wife and I both spent a weekend away separately with our close friends. However, we ran into each other, unplanned, at the airport. She was with her girls and I was with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 806

Pizzagate

By Drama - 27/10/2024 15:00 - United States - Miami

Today, after I'd decided to give online dating another shot and I matched with someone who seemed interesting, during our actual date our conversation quickly devolved into a debate about whether pineapple belongs on pizza. I ended up blocking her after she sent me a thesis on the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 492

O'Reilly

By still can’t get any - 04/04/2022 06:00

Today, I’m convinced my son has some sort of radar. Literally every time my partner and I try to have sex, he wakes up and interrupts us. At first I thought it was a coincidence, but the fact that it’s happened at 12am, 12pm, 6am and 3pm tells me otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 244

Paranoid android

By Anonymous - 13/03/2022 16:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I hit my target weight for the first time since high school. As a result, my girlfriend refuses to hook up with me, because her slutty cousins are now too interested in me, and she assumes I'm leading them on. I've never met them in person, because they live in Russia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 203

Mush

By Tired Tater - 05/06/2023 10:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 1 515

Shallow

By John - 09/06/2026 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, my now-ex girlfriend showed me a picture where she was 120lbs overweight and asked me if I would still date her if she ever looked like that again. Being honest, I said “No.” She broke it off with me because of that. Apparently I lack “good moral character” and “it’s giving red flag.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 484

Girls will be girls

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 14:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 780

Exhausted

By Anonymous - 28/04/2019 12:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I made plans with my boyfriend for some "alone time" after work. I then stepped on some black ice in the parking lot, landed on my head, and got sent to the ER. Per protocol, until cleared by a specialist, I am not permitted to work. Or drive. Or drink. Or do anything "strenuous". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 155

You deserved it 250

Thanks for sharing

By why ma? - 22/04/2022 00:01 - United States

Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 142

Cart Narcs will get ya!

By May - 10/01/2021 20:01

Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 275

Step-dad no more

By MAN THINGS fuck you - 26/06/2026 09:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop criticizing my son for his table manners. He said, "It's man things, you wouldn't understand." He acted surprised when I blew my top and told him to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 425

You old fool

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 05:01 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, after repeatedly telling my partner's family that our daughter is allergic to peanuts, his grandfather decided to feed her one, to "see if she really is allergic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 311

You deserved it 77

By Audrey Anna Grace Somers - 12/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was trying on a dress at my grandmother's house. When I posed for her, she told me she would expand the waist, because I won't be sucking in the whole time I would be wearing it. The joke's on you Grandma, I've been sucking my stomach in since I was twelve years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 361

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I came home after spending two days in the hospital for suicidal ideation and found a summons for jury duty in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 157

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By nobody - 01/07/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 226

Under the hood

By Anonymous - 03/04/2022 12:00

Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 1 721

Genius mode

By Dumbass Dude - 24/05/2019 14:10

Today, I pulled into a parking lot, for the car to simply shut off because I ran out of gas. Then I couldn't get the key out of the ignition, so I called my dad, who walked all the way to where I was, only to find out that the car was still in drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 2 205

Overdoing it

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has epilepsy. How did I find this out? He started having a seizure after I did a striptease for him. I can’t get my boyfriend aroused now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 199

Get it on

By Anon - 13/07/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 177

You wanker

By Anonymous - 30/03/2022 22:00

Today, I work for the police as a computer analyst. My dad, who thinks it’s only a real job if you come home covered in grease every day, still tells his friends my job is to sit in a dark room wanking on the internet all day. And he wonders why we barely speak anymore.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 170

Great practice

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 00:02

Today, my step-mom let me practice driving, since I got my permit the other day. I mistook the gas for the brake and launched our dog into the windshield. The dog is okay, but my sister, who was also in the car, will never let me live this down and caught it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 891

My time of need

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, my boyfriend got annoyed with me for being really needy and clingy lately. I'm doing it because I was sexually assaulted last week, but I'm just not ready to tell him that yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 252

Someone thinks highly of themselves

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 10:00

Today, on my first day, I tried to ask my new boss a question, she visibly recoiled and actually gave me the, “I already have a boyfriend” line, and shut her door in my face, then locked it. I still need my question answered before I can start working, so I guess I’ll just sit and do nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 106

Confession time

By Anonymous - 24/07/2023 00:02

Today, I’m a 32 year-old man with a wife, a dog, and 2 kids. I still pick my boogers and eat them, and have no plans to stop anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 1 106

Wild night, huh?

By Anonymous - 06/06/2019 22:00

Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 424

Sorry, but it's a no

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 05:01 - Australia - The Oaks

Today, after years of battling mental health and unemployment, I was rejected from a job packing tomatoes. Apparently I'm unsuitable for even the most basic work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 108

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Love Birds Proposal Miscellaneous My ex Family Fight Relatable Parents Racism Healthy Lifestyle Social Media Annoying Horses Animals Weird Poopoo peepee Football Sports LGBTQIA+ First Dates Money Kids Gross Smells Work Flooding Disappointment Art NSFW

The Top

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex-girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 163

You deserved it 1 104

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 616

You deserved it 41 672

Today, my job offer from 2 weeks ago was rescinded. My "new boss" didn't like my last performance review. I'd spent 30 hours preparing a case study for the second interview. He wants me to be a "standup guy" and withdraw my application voluntarily, so HR doesn't have to get involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 348

You deserved it 352

Today, I rushed home after my mom called saying our upstairs had flooded. Apparently, my little brother somehow broke the toilet while unsupervised and water overflowed everywhere. It even reached my closet, shoes, and books, and everything touching my floor in my room is now wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 148

Today, I had to help my best friend plan his upcoming date with the girl he doesn't know I'm secretly in love with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 599

Today, I keep hearing a tapping noise in my bedroom every few seconds. I don't know where it's coming from, but I do know it's driving me crazy, and it's impossible for me to ignore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 73