Today, after falling down an incredibly expansive DNA test rabbit hole, I found out that my first girlfriend was actually related to me. I can’t believe I’ve lived what I always thought was a disgusting and unrealistic porn trope: teen lesbian incest. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing, and having lots of kinky sex with, I’m talking "confess to a priest or take to your grave" kind of kinky, is actually my cousin who moved abroad when she was two years-old, and only just recently moved back here. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom and my dad met for the first time. We discovered that they are each other's exes, and not only that, my girlfriend, whom I have been dating, hanging out, confiding with, being intimate with, shared each other's first times, and plan to marry, is actually my half-sister. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML
Today, I found out the truth about my parents’ divorce and why our family is so distant. Turns out my dad had an affair with not one, but two of my mom’s sisters. And that my youngest cousin is also my half-sister. FML
Today, I had another dinner with the girl that I started dating a few weeks ago. During dinner, we talked about our families. We realized that we're actually cousins. FML
Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML
Today, I found out the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend has been fucking his first cousin in the booty on the regular for years, and was still fucking her while seeing me. I feel disgusting. He’s 32 and she’s 28 and thinks they’re going to get married. FML
Today, my mom, dad, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles came together to tell me they’re fine that I’m a lesbian, so I don’t have to be in the closet anymore. I wasn’t aware I was lesbian, I’ve been happily using men's penises since I was 19, but apparently I’m a secret lesbian. Go figure… FML
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Top comments
Paul Hext 7
Surely the usual concerns about "in-breeding" would not apply to a same sex relationship? I say go for it, if it feels good, do it.
Thaylok 17
I doubt it was close enough to matter as you should know all of your 1st cousins. 2nd and 3rd cousin is genetically acceptable. If she was 1/2 siblings then Great Googly Moogly! it takes about 6 generations to work that crazy out of a family line.... And then, I still have my doubts. Don't ask me how I know.
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Comments (5)
JackWood 21
Why stop at one sexual deviance?
Thaylok 17
I doubt it was close enough to matter as you should know all of your 1st cousins. 2nd and 3rd cousin is genetically acceptable. If she was 1/2 siblings then Great Googly Moogly! it takes about 6 generations to work that crazy out of a family line.... And then, I still have my doubts. Don't ask me how I know.
RichardPencil 32
I hope you didn't take video of your disgusting teen ****. Can I have the link? ;)
Chazzster 32
(1) Don’t beat yourself up. You didn’t know you were related and she’s apparently no longer your girlfriend. Learn to forgive yourself for past missteps. (2) The taboos against incest are primarily for the protecting against the situation where one is able to take advantage of the other; and to protect any potential offspring from the risk of inbreeding. It’s fairly common in many cultures that as close as first cousins might get married with no particular stigma, though in most US states this is frowned upon. It seems highly unlikely that either of these concerns actually applied to you and your first girlfriend, so even if she was still your girlfriend it would be pretty insignificant in terms of actual concerns.
Paul Hext 7
Surely the usual concerns about "in-breeding" would not apply to a same sex relationship? I say go for it, if it feels good, do it.