anonymous
Kitchener, Canada
Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
me
Richmond, United States
Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML
boo8713
Bell, United States
Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML
MikeA
Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML
stopstutteringforSiri
United States
Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML
JillianJuneBug
Elmira, United States
Today, I was listening to music on my phone. I activated Siri by mistake, which stopped the music. I told Siri to, "turn the damn music back on." She replied, "Now calling Afton." Afton is my ex. While trying to quickly end the call, my phone froze and the buttons stopped working. FML
hey Siri save me!
Meltdown
Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Tristan
Send message
Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML
Mortified
Exeter, United Kingdom
That's a bad look
Today, I renamed my home Wi-Fi to “PleaseTalkToMeSarah” to hint to my crush/neighbour. Later, I realized the whole apartment building could see it, and had worked out who it belonged to. Now strangers keep asking if Sarah had talked to me yet. She hasn’t. FML
hahahawoww
United States
Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML
Top comments
brewmasterg 34
I hope you know she signs your emails that way.
Cads1 24
Siri knows best.
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Comments (82)
Sir_Mitchell15 14
Just a side note, she calls me Satan
Nessco 36
There's a reason for everything. I bet you know and are just not letting on to the rest of us.
5secondsofvvifi 21
I hope you don't email people from your phone, especially not about important things. Siri is hooked up the the email application and signs your emails by what she calls you. Would be funny explaining that though
Korpz13 16
Same here ^v^
MedChew 19
Maybe don't put it into your breast pocket anymore.
UserOfTheMind 24
Be happy she didn't call you her daddy. That was a weird night...
XxGaLaXy_HiTzxX 14
Do you have any siblings? If so, they probably made a change on your phone and made her call you that?
applecrusher 18
A friend could have done it too
beeneatenalive 12
Or a spouse
RenoTheRhino 30
Or a great grandmother
waitingformyruca 8
Or Merle.
False_Stupidity 42
Or Chuck Norris
bingalingading 12
Or Cthulu
PePziNL 20
You're all wrong. It was the butler, in the kitchen, with a butterknife.
Cads1 24
Siri knows best.
Theglc20 27
I think you tried to use your nipple on the fingerprint sensor once too many times...
brewmasterg 34
I hope you know she signs your emails that way.
supertacowaffle 41
Take it as a compliment OP.
dezman2000 21
Still not as bad as when you ask her what zero divided by zero is.
ViviMage 40
That is hilarious!!
MakeTodayADTR 20
She's searching and finding feelings.. Feeling she can't seem to explain right now. Test your internet connection and try again later. Sugartits.
MrConcise 35
Maybe we can hook her up with Microsoft Sam and see if those feelings were just curiosity.