Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML
Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
Today, since my family and friends always make fun of me for being a wuss when it comes to pain, when I stubbed my toe, I made a point to not scream or complain in any way. Instead, I vomited and fainted. FML
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Top comments
FML_Elle 17
Stubbing your toe can really hurt! And thank you for your service
That_Ginger 18
Just be thankful you didn't step on a lego block. Many a good men have lost their lives to those foul pieces of plastic.
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Comments (168)
ninjina_fml 7
Wow
Eleanor6141 11
a stubbed toe is no joke my friend.
ButterflyLadyBug 14
I'm in the Army . as tough as it is a stubbed toe is no fun ! I'd cry too !
tanekdrachonae 19
Especially if you hit it hard enough to break it.
Shadowsofthedead 10
Such toe. Very pain. Wow! But in all seriousness, I knew someone who broke their toe when they stubbed it on something, so it could have been a little harder than a light tap. And don't forget he fell over too, which could also hurt.
sporteeholmes01 15
My mom broke her toe by stubbing it off the table!
Eleanor6141 11
"I wish you were my pinky toe" "..why? " "cause I'd bang you on everything." ..smooooth.
incoherentrmblr 21
Oh the irony...
MegaError101 10
There is no irony here.
jkmartinjk 16
My teacher stubbed his toe and ended up getting a staph infection!
ShadowSneaker360 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Imagine if you'd've been shot in the toe or somewhere worse. You're very lucky.
xerbrus 14
a bullet wound doesn't hurt for very long your body goes into shock. until you go to get the bullet out that is
amc597 28
He could have been shot, you never know.
FracturedMinds 21
a bullet wouldn't get stuck in your toe. if it does, I'd stop playing with pellet guns.
ShadowSneaker360 16
A bullet wound can kill, and 1. A bullet could take a toe off, possibly. 2. Who said the bullet would get stuck???
Clay_Pidgeon 11
a bullet wound can't kill if it is to the toe...
StillUsesMyspace 22
152, wana bet?
applebramble 22
Double challenge
GEBEH 14
Hey! Don't start shooting eachother leave that to our armyman!
tvwrestler98 14
#152 in Call of duty you can...
joeyl2008 29
Pog
whothewhat 4
Well said #3
eyedea84 5
grunts up. a stubbed toe sucks, but nothing compared to rucking twelve miles with badly blistered feet.
TAHK 11
Wow does no one understand this reference!
Chelarie 9
Apparently not.
Nolimit2217 32
Grunt life.
crazym409 7
Personal other than grunt. Google "fobit song" and it might come to life. Spent 9 years of my life as a grunt till I was medically retired.
RodzillaX 30
Solid response #3 haha. Obviously a lot of people are lacking on their military terminology. Then again, it is a language all its own.
FML_Elle 17
Stubbing your toe can really hurt! And thank you for your service
FracturedMinds 21
Agreed. Stubbed toe or not, it takes a lot to serve. Thank you for serving.
Zelphoric 25
I stub my toes on pretty much everything... It kills
C0M1C4L 9
this sounds a lil too ironic to be true
dachayke 16
The awkward moment when I don't know if #98's comment was moderated because of the comment itself or because of #98's profile pic
GEBEH 14
Thank you for serving, and godbless. I don't know how anyone could say that with a straight face.
Welshite 39
Stubbing a toe hurts; I don't blame you.
Redoxx_fml 22
Did they take him to Weeney Hut General?
ChenEighty 20
20, comments like that make me want to stub all your toes and see where they take you...
tanekdrachonae 19
In the wahmbulance?
Kamon97 23
Hey at least the nail wasn't ingrown >.
MidnaLink 33
33 Oh I know! That would just suck!
sporteeholmes01 15
#33, that is one of the ways to get an ingrown toenail!! Stubbing you toe too much, wearing too small shoes etc.
Redoxx_fml 22
23-that seemed a little uncalled for. Did you not get into the Salty Spittoon?
That_Ginger 18
Just be thankful you didn't step on a lego block. Many a good men have lost their lives to those foul pieces of plastic.
laurelly 3
Best insult in the world: "I hope you step on a Lego."
Nastorrian 11
How about them patriots. :p
Posthuman 26
Plot twist: stubbed his toe on a chair built of Legos
safaeita 32
Man it hurts
Bloink 25
#92 I don't even want to think about that...
psycheiris13 20
Although your ego may be bruised, and possibly your toe, I'm sure your family can see the hilarity of the situation and laugh it off.
5destroyer35 20
Well, now we know why you had to go home.
IloveRelientK 10
Theres no reason for you to say that. OP has my respect. You dont know the whole situation so you should keep your mouth shut.
5destroyer35 20
I really need to stop commenting when I'm tired. Like this comment! Feel free to downvote, I deserve it.
Nolimit2217 32
A stubbed toe can bring down the toughest man.
tipsy2013 24
you obviously took a step in the wrong direction.