Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML
Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
Today, since my family and friends always make fun of me for being a wuss when it comes to pain, when I stubbed my toe, I made a point to not scream or complain in any way. Instead, I vomited and fainted. FML
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Top comments
FML_Elle 17
Stubbing your toe can really hurt! And thank you for your service
That_Ginger 18
Just be thankful you didn't step on a lego block. Many a good men have lost their lives to those foul pieces of plastic.
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Comments (168)
mcm_3 16
HO-RAH
tanekdrachonae 19
Hooah-Army, Oorah-Marines
Redoxx_fml 22
Is anyone else reminded of the Salty Spitoon episode of spongebob?
ethan9100 7
you deserve more likes
gracehi 33
Stubbing your toe is no joke, man. I remember that time I stubbed my toe in Nam... Those Charlies almost got away, but luckily I had some good men on my side.
Nastorrian 11
Such sarcasm. Much wow. Very lol.
ZY1431 24
hey stubbing a toe is some serious stuff. its hurts like hell :( thank you for your service.
cicora 10
Did you just back from BCT and AIT or a deployment?
Nastorrian 11
Sounds like basic.
reconscout84 6
I was wondering the same thing
Drag0nb0rn 22
I have really sensitive toes and I absolutely cannot stand anything touching my toes
Nastorrian 11
You should buy some toe socks. THAT would drive you crazy.
tanekdrachonae 19
Have you ever been checked for neuropathy in your toes/feet?
DishnobFruitCum 5
Did your parents laugh for ten minutes straight, again?
IAmMe204 25
No comment just thank you for your service.
Zelphoric 25
That is a comment, just saying haha
sdroze1389 31
Well that is pretty funny, you posted it so I feel like you don't mind the jokes. "your tax dollars at work." that would be mine. all the same, thanks for doing what I won't :-)
Girlie7 11
Be thankful that you did not step on a mine in your enemy's camp..