Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML
Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
Today, since my family and friends always make fun of me for being a wuss when it comes to pain, when I stubbed my toe, I made a point to not scream or complain in any way. Instead, I vomited and fainted. FML
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Top comments
FML_Elle 17
Stubbing your toe can really hurt! And thank you for your service
That_Ginger 18
Just be thankful you didn't step on a lego block. Many a good men have lost their lives to those foul pieces of plastic.
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Comments (168)
breakinlegs 19
I'm sure you are dealing with a lot of emotions right now. Was it just the stubbed toe or was there other feelings you where letting out as well?
SammyS2012 21
Thats what i was thinking. Maybe he had emotions all built up, and they decided to come out in that one second of vunerability.
CptHindsight 1
The Army is tough, the feeties are not.
FracturedMinds 21
Just the way you worded that made me chuckle.
Girlie7 11
Hey at least your life isn't as bad as the guy from earlier today whose parents laughed hard when he said he was going to join the army...
iammeorami 25
Hey couches are tough. They go thru a lot.
AlaskanG 27
I'm assuming that you were trying to say that you came home from a deployment. Not from the army.
sdroze1389 31
eh maybe he was back from his req and chose to not re sign
JJBADGE10 7
Thank you for your service
israelnotjacob 20
Well I guess we now know why your parents laughed for 10 minutes when you said you were thinking of joining.
JMichael 26
Hey sometimes stubbing your toe is the worse pain imaginable.
skipper2009 18
So what were you really doing those couple months?
olpally 33
Come on, really? Lol.