Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML
Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
Today, since my family and friends always make fun of me for being a wuss when it comes to pain, when I stubbed my toe, I made a point to not scream or complain in any way. Instead, I vomited and fainted. FML
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Top comments
FML_Elle 17
Stubbing your toe can really hurt! And thank you for your service
That_Ginger 18
Just be thankful you didn't step on a lego block. Many a good men have lost their lives to those foul pieces of plastic.
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Comments (168)
worldclassrager 41
We'll being with family crying is better than screaming a profanity...and thank you for your service...
PatandIsabella 4
At least you did it in front of family and not your drill sgt ..... He'd make you do a gazillion push ups for that nonsense ;)
Krazzyjay 6
Welcome home !
UsernameTaken14 18
You've got every right! That shit HURTS!
ForeverHoosier 9
I would too! Thank you for your service!
damnit1989 16
You're human, it happens. My bf was a marine and gets whiny over a stomach bug. Thinks he's dying or something. But talk about the service and overseas, and he mans up like crazy
thtperson 13
It's okay the pain of any stubbed toe is much worse than anything the army could put you through
awilliams44 9
thank you for your service and the small things hurt the most
gabagabaheyu 10
they let anyone into the army
SuperStormCindy 8
You're so disrespectful.
dachayke 16
Except you.
buttcramp 21
no.. they don't.
gabagabaheyu 10
im just biased. my family is a Marines family.
DotDootyDot 17
You deserved it for daring to speak out loud about how tough your life is! Everybody knows that's always an invitation for the universe to **** you up!