Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ILoveEggnog 7
Your mom's not the brightest bulb, is she?
slushpup9696 12
Sorry, 19. We're all working our hardest over here to please you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
ILoveEggnog 7
Your mom's not the brightest bulb, is she?
OMGIFOUNDWALDO 6
hey who said the rober is a "he"?! I as a dude ferl slightly offended, thus I'll make a sexist joke to compensate; Why was your mother out of the kitchen anyway?
MerNoEngrush 0
He stole all my guitars? Surely this isn't referring to the burglar!
enonymous 9
Hamburgler has raised his game from hamburgers to guitars in an effort to support his heroin addiction
Jovecove 13
Blonde mums
MrSarcasm 4
Her mother is to smart like how a bowling ball is to a scalpel.
RadikulRam 16
#17 how are you so ******* socially inept?
spazz666 18
Uhm... Actually. That's what 17 is referring to. If OP had caught the robber this wouldnt be an FML, therefore saying "HE stole all my guitars." was OP assuming the robber was male. Just to shed some light on the dark recesses of your brain that control the "reading comprehension" functions.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
You are an ass, #17. OP made a direct comment that the robber was a man. Go back to school. Your grammar needs to be worked on.
noobgang7 5
Note: "house key under flower pot, guitars downstairs, passcode to safe 31-45-12, see you soon honey" Burglar: "**** yeah" What a smart idea, right?
Falalala243 0
I didn't see anything wrong with it till i read these comments! haha
Naitsi 19
mine did the same thing :P
briester30895 0
Lmao!!!!!!
Keyman1212 14
Rob your mother of her happiness and freedom by putting her in an old folks home as soon as possible.
boofgall 16
This did not make me laugh, sorry.
Castiell_fml 0
Haha I laughed
Keyman1212 14
What makes me think I was trying to make you laugh? I'm in an Anti-Joke Chicken mood right now.
slushpup9696 12
Sorry, 19. We're all working our hardest over here to please you.
iHateTheMods 3
I bet it was really Op mom who stole the guitars, why you ask. So she can beat keyman and stro(and damn glad I haven't seen that fool comment in a lomg time) over the head with them for being a jackass.
Nathangh 2
You stupid dumbass. Just don't talk.
AliCat18 12
# 19. your clearly as smart as the OPs mother!
TheAA_fml 0
Actually, I agree with this poster. Retarded mother.
yumgranolabar 5
I'm sorry, that sucks :(
Fruit_Dealer 9
Not a very funky situation indeed..? Ok ok I'm sorry! No, no, not the rocks!
bamagrl410 31
This situation is why parents should learn how to text. Or she at least could have left a voicemail instead.
RinaVampire31 18
That sucks!! Hunt the robber down! Leave your spare key at your mom's home and do the same with the note.
boofgall 16
Yeah, great idea. -.- it's not like that was op's moms intention.
Zaffro 8
Sorry pet annoyance, it's not a robber it's a burglar. Also I use "it's" as to commit such an act voids their humanity and makes it perfectly ok to beat them with blunt objects.
boofgall 16
That would be "its", no punctuation. What you were saying is "it is".
Cobro 5
At least all he took were guitars and nothing irreplaceable.
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
Actually guitars can be hella expensive. That's probably why they were stolen.
slitherbomb 0
Nothing irreplaceable? Les Paul custom guitars are close to $4000 and most American guitars are about $1000 or more. I don't think anyone would write an fml like this if all they had were Squiers and Epiphones.
XAnNiHiLaTiOn 6
Insurance
slushpup9696 12
24 - I think 6 is talking about taking something literally impossible to replace, like an urn of OP's grandmother's ashes (weird example, I know.) But if anyone stole my favorite guitar I think I would cry.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
There was actually an FML long ago where someone DID have their house broken into and the robber stole an urn containing their grandparent's ashes.
diidiimi 10
On the plus for the thieves, at least they were smart enough to take the guitars. I know a few people who've had their houses and cars broken into and not one instrument stolen, and some of those instruments were worth f*&# loads! FYL though op, having something bad happen to something that is so much a part of you is really horrible. You have my condolences.
Euphorically 14
Oh, I thumbed this up because I thought it was sarcasm! And seeing as OP has more than one guitar, I'm pretty sure they're just as sentimental as an irreplaceable photo album. I don't know about the rest of you, but I've grown fond of my instruments and would be devastated if I lost them.
guitarbeast 22
32 - if someone stole my Gibson I would definitely cry
zukinihudini 0
You just dont understand the sentimental value of guitars. If anyone ever stole my guitars i wouldnt know what to do. Sorry for your loss.
ilyAngel 0
You must go on a hunt for those guitars.
Darkblade21 20
Having your instrument taken from you is the worst feeling a musician can have.
suavesuave 2
Your mom defiantly won't be nominated for Best mom of the year lol
hippo1234 19
I now nominate OP's mom. Ha'
dumboears 8
And you DEFINITELY will not be nominated for best speller of the year.
kalejaxson 5
Aww well, it's the thought that counts right? Your mom was just trying to help you find your way into the house because she loves you.
Vball6 19
No.
onlychildFTW 34
You have to think on the bright side. Your mum just wanted to let you know where the key was. Good intentions are a bonus
iam_yummylicious 12
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
builditbetter09 3
Really? I heard it was a yellow brick road.
HetaliaFreak 10
I thought it was a highway?
YourBuddyDave 0
Nope, definitely the autobahn!
A100893 30
I am so sorry! My instrument is like a part of me, so I know how it feels. Make your mom replace them and rip up notes that give away the location to spare keys. This ain't Canada.
Isoldael 27
Never put spare keys outside in the first place. I mean, we're always convinced that we're being all smart putting it under something, but burglars know all these classic places. Leave the keys with a neighbour if you have to, but not outside.
mk58 31
Sorry to say, these kinds of things happen even in Canada, no matter where in the country you happen to live.
jmuld 3
Or unless they just steal the box.