Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML
Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML
Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
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Top comments
Mr_Alarm 12
Why were your balls taking a nap in the park?
Im2Handsom 1
Lucky that woke you up, instead of a man throwing you in his van.
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Comments (164)
Mr_Alarm 12
Why were your balls taking a nap in the park?
YourEvilHero 12
why were you napping in a park? seems like you were right in the middle and not off to the side somewhere with all the homeless people.... and my mom.
BellaBelle_fml 23
I saw this while moderating FMLs, it originally said that OP was sleeping on a bench. I'm curious as to how the man stepped in his balls while OP was laying on the bench?
mk58 31
His balls were tired, obviously, from the excessive work they had to deal with.
annihil8or 15
A post said HE was taking a nap in the park, stupid
lotto_boi 3
To soon 18
Kefka91 15
47- Actually, the first sentence is a dangling modifier so it does read as his balls were the ones napping. It would be grammatically correct if he had said something like, "Today, while I was taking a nap in the park,..." Learn you some grammar!
Capt_Beerman1942 0
Lol dangling modifier. How appropriate.
xosportsgirl14x 8
18- not too soon, just too unfunny.
MrPedoBear_fml 4
Sorry. I made them tired
thepatty8474 10
18- Yup, although NOW it isnt to late, cuz he's been dead for like 3-5 years...
nalia18 8
Cough** Hes only been dead for two.... Op havent you ever thought maybe the jackets the reason his foot touched your testicles because he was blinded by the 80's?
muffins650 1
Ydi for wearing a neon orange jacket.
beefbus7 0
He was probs protesting
2ndSucks 15
97- Have you ever heard of a public library?
nalia18 8
Maybe he was blinded by the 80's
white16sox 19
103 yes I'm sure they have. What does that have to do with anything?
naughtia 14
Maybe he was colour blind?
flying13 6
There was no problem with him seeing you...he just saw a bright orange sign that said "step on balls here" pointing straight at your family jewels. Sounds like he deserved a swift kick in the balls as payback. ;)
amadais 1
Ydi for wearing a neon orange jacket
BigDirtySteez 1
Haaha definitely deserve to gets your junk stepped on for wearing a neon jacket
brenkite 5
Or op is a ninja
Bofferding_fml 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ouch, not cool dude
CourtneyDanielle_fml 9
.. Well, you shouldn't have been taking as nap in the park then.
rkmepm 16
...Well you shouldnt tell op off for taking "as nap" if you can't think of something better to say
thisisafunnyname 12
Well, he was probably napping in the park cause he wanted to get raped or mugged.
bizarre_ftw 22
Well you shouldn't be an idiot and instead see that op probably didn't Want to have to sleep in a park but instead had No Other Option!! Honestly learn to read between the lines!! (either that or he's a biker that decided to randomly stop and sleep :/ )
koolkat27 13
90- if he was homeless, then how would he be able to post shit on FML?
CourtneyDanielle_fml 9
Omg one typo. Gtfo.
omgcookeys 15
97, maybe he went to the apple store.
Soulcatcherteej 6
Or maybe he's at Occupy Wall Street...
roxyisahottie 3
No jokezz
Im2Handsom 1
Lucky that woke you up, instead of a man throwing you in his van.
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Lol wtf?
EvilPotato 15
* punches you in the face* "oh I didn't see you there."
nomnom5559922 0
Look on the bright side, you ARE the bright side!
BellaBelle_fml 23
Finally! An FML that has a bright side...literally!
Buttsexpirate 9
Shouldn't have let your balls out unprotected. Crazy shit goes on in parks
The_Troller 14
It's always fun...until some kid starts playing stickball with them.
brunogtz 4
are those pirate balls in your photo?
taylorshea143 0
"Pirate booty"^
amberskyz 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Quit living in the past. its just balls anyways
Zomg_Okay 27
11 - You have no idea how vulnerable us men are down there. You can reduce any man to tears with minimum effort by aiming below the belt.
ChantelRenaeee 0
Its like dudes giving us girls titty twisters.. Not a good experience.
seeb49 7
Just balls? Balls enable us to reproduce. No balls, no humanity.
BellaBelle_fml 23
How is that living in the past? Please elaborate...
Daralea 21
I agree seeb! Balls allow all of mankind to thrive. They're always in the background, rarely in the spotlight; working constantly day and night only to have their hard work die on sheets of kleenex in the trash. Trampled on, bounced around in inadequate garments, balls are the unsung heroes of procreation. Let not their struggles go unnoticed and let us celebrate Balls today as I claim the first ever International Ball Violence Awareness Day!
angrymexican 8
26 believe me it's worse
don1qot 6
At least, now they can match your jacket.
mk58 31
The only way his balls would be neon orange would be if he decided to rub Kraft dinner powdered cheese on them.
rkmepm 16
LOL 15 :D what happened to the sandpaper+balls analogy?
Ghostkiller12345 9
13:Nearly Funny
dompa2011 0
Gay