Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
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Top comments
geepc 3
haha oh dear OP.. maybe ease off on the alcohol if you can't handle it to prevent future embarrassment?
DncrHap 9
pssh. what's the problem? two girls with one bone!
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Comments (71)
sofiainthesun 5
you got lucky ;)
TomasT 0
You tried NOT to shave her armpits?
banana_buddy 6
No I believe the question is "did he get lucky"
alfredrog 0
better question, did she liked it?
xStarKillerx 4
And did the girlfriend want in?
RoseBlack123 37
Is your girlfriend's name Stacy?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Awesome!
TheBeatlesAreLov 0
Only in Jersey.
CaliLove14 0
Hey
DncrHap 9
pssh. what's the problem? two girls with one bone!
ctFIRE216 0
Sao comes the comment from one girl with no bones
Chunkylover76 4
I like where you're going with your train of thought there Hap! Plus did I mention I like your pic? Very cute! :)
monzach 5
*cough* cheesy pick up line *cough*
RachaelJustBlah6 0
bahaahaha! got her awws
mea_iloveskiing 26
french manicure ? =DDD
LightningLadyy 0
Moms love the manicures! OP, you are just so clever!
geepc 3
haha oh dear OP.. maybe ease off on the alcohol if you can't handle it to prevent future embarrassment?
RedPillSucks 33
So... Is her mom paying extra special attention to you now?
mozeltov 7
YDI, don't get drunk if you don't wanna act stupid
detolicious 2
e-high five!
mona_is_here 10
Is she a MILF?
perdix 31
When he's wearing the Beer Goggles she is.
Aerious 0
I'd hope she was.
Doortje 30
So your future mother-in-law is a MILF? You better hold your liquor, who knows what you'll try next.
macskapingvin 0
I'm sure next he'll try it on with the DILF.