Miscellaneous: Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

agreeclassic 10 404

vote type 1 37 727

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By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

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By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

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By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

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By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

agreeclassic 50 125

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By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

agreeclassic 17 605

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By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

agreeclassic 53 935

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By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

agreeclassic 24 838

vote type 1 3 666

Next

TOP COMMENTS

geepc 3

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:43

haha oh dear OP.. maybe ease off on the alcohol if you can't handle it to prevent future embarrassment?

DncrHap 9

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:42

pssh. what's the problem? two girls with one bone!

Comments

RHCP12 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:53

Come and knock on our door....

snoot 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 6:46

okay....

oliveindamiddle 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:14

threes company reference? :D

sarabraun8 7

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:55

nice one

Kiyoha 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:11

Um, if you can't handle alcohol and/or are stupid enough to drink too much, you totally deserved it.

marriiee_fml 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:15

I hear she's good with them soft lips.

joooeee 3

Sunday 16 January 2011 1:29

Does anyone know what the square root of 69 is?

Doortje 29

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:06

8 something.

girlslikeguys 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 3:48

right ;)

zacharytk72 5

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:16

you're stupid lol

justnbieber 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:29

haha nasty.

FMLouis 6

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:03

You would think so Justin...

orly33 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:37

Lol.

waterpolohezy 6

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:37

Ok so here's the run down just in case anybody didn't already realize this... Any FML dealing with drunkenness or one night stands=automatic YDI or DUI. Take your pick. But really wise up and learn some limits people

boopityboppity 11

Sunday 16 January 2011 1:13

Yeah. If you get drunk, expect bad things to happen.

momo1972 3

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:42

is she MILF?

maybaybe 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:47

Go easy on the alcohol if you want to stay with your girlfriend, OP.

perdix 29

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:56

Or go hard on the alcohol and become his girlfriend's step-dad. Rawr!

soldier4life_88 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:03

ha ha yes!!!

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Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML

agreeclassic 500

vote type 1 194

Today, my anxious, obsessive, overbearing mother called me four times. That's significantly less than usual. When I complained to my dad, he said, "She just worries about you because she loves you." I don't feel loved, I feel smothered. FML

agreeclassic 849

vote type 1 151

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is getting back together with his crazy alcoholic ex-wife who frequently cheated on him. In addition to this news, I also found out that he maxed out all my credit cards. FML

agreeclassic 33 730

vote type 1 4 889

Today, I got my report card. My teacher gave me an F, and under class comments she gave me a U for unsatisfactory. So I got an F U from my teacher. FML

agreeclassic 13 216

vote type 1 5 975

Today, I typed out "I WANT LEMONS" as a joke on Facebook. (For those who don't know, lemons are another word for raunchy, steamy fanfictions). My grandma saw the post, then gave me a whole bag of actual lemons. If she knew that I meant "sexy fanfiction", she would have a heart attack. FML

agreeclassic 110

vote type 1 661

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

agreeclassic 31 950

vote type 1 7 856