30350322

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30350322

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 995
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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30350322's page activity

Visits<b>lilmisspixie</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:26pm<b>oh_your_god</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:23pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 5:46pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:23am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:13am<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:05pm<b>awkwardloveannie</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 9:53pm<b>srod1326</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 3:58am<b>esisuquees</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:47pm<b>theshug93</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 10:40am<b>jamesm_93</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 10:45pm<b>thrashhead</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 3:30am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 11:09pm<b>secretagent415</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 11:54am<b>nicolemadden</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 5:50am<b>ohgeejosee</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:12pm<b>barak263</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 2:46pm<b>olpally</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 3:16am

30350322's FML badges

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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30350322's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

by Miramichi / 05/30/2011 at 8:18am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

by DHarman / 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2010 at 7:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

by LaurenLehmmman / 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

by Klepto / 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

by soembarrassed / 08/02/2009 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

by waxinghorror / 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML

by 1234 / 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

by whitewater_al / 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous