Today, my girlfriend refused to have sex with me, because my underwear are Fruit of the Loom instead of Hanes. According to her, since all real men wear Hanes, I'm unfit to have sex with her because I wear Fruit of the Loom and am therefore not a man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my date decided not to have sex with me after she saw I wear Y-fronts, Tighty Whities to some of you, instead of boxers, so she couldn’t take me seriously as a grown man wearing underwear normally worn by children under 10 years-old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Not for cheating or for flirting, but because I wear tighty whities. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted to try something that would turn me on immediately. While I was in our bed, she came in, wearing only the underwear she took from our 13 year-old daughter's closet. Now she doesn't understand why I'm genuinely disgusted and don't want to have sex with her. FML
Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, my girl likes to wear my boxers around the house but she was in a pair I’d not seen before. I asked her and she went all quiet and guilty looking. Dudes, I literally caught my girlfriend in another man’s drawers. It would be tragic but right now it’s just too funny. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
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Top comments
TxKitten79 10
So tell her that a real woman wouldn't be so ******* ridiculous
mekiswrite 21
As a girl, I don't care what a guy wears so long as everything is CLEAN and preferably no stains or funky smells.
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Comments (19)
TCRII 30
Go commando
RichardPencil 32
That’s not the real reason. She probably just boned another dude and wanted to delay you for a day or so while you got the right underwear.
moliknz 26
I was thinking that too, it’s not the real reason. It sounds like she has some other thing that’s making her not want to be intimate, so she just picked the first thing she could think of to delay it until she can talk about the real reason.
RichardPencil 32
I'm glad to hear that not only men think this way. She was up to something.
BLACKHEART46101 10
Go get a real girlfriend then, fotl are comfortable and my only option.
mekiswrite 21
As a girl, I don't care what a guy wears so long as everything is CLEAN and preferably no stains or funky smells.
Imadumbass 16
Same
eightbithero 12
So should guys expect no stains or funky smells of women as well? I mean, since a women's vag cleans itself and ****/modeling isn't reality, and underwear does get stained, and genitals do smell. Lol But sure... Lets hold women to these standards as well, since its harder for them.
mekiswrite 21
When I say no stains I mean no skid marks. When I say no funky smells I mean that everything has been cleaned within the past 12 hours. I think those are reasonable expectations.
mekiswrite 21
When I say "clean and no funky smells", I mean no skid marks and everything has been washed in the past 12 hours. I think those are reasonable expectations.
TxKitten79 10
So tell her that a real woman wouldn't be so ******* ridiculous
EmDizzle2007 28
yeah they would.
1gullible_bugger 34
Time to get some Hanes.. 😂 And tell her she's crazy.
Memnoc 26
So get some Gildan. They're more comfortable anyways.
Henry8cooper 15
Wear your Fruit of the Loom and questioned sexuality with pride - and take both to someone who has half a brain and a full heart. Amen
tiedyedpunk 2
wow. this is crazy. 20 years ago wrote a rap song with the lyric: "...minus half a brain and minus a whole heart..."
Henry8cooper 15
You can have credit and copyright - I write lousy rapsongs anyway 😂
core01 30
Tell her to buy them for you.
fjvitt 14
Wait til we get our Hanes’ on you!