Today, I figured out why the man I've been seeing for 3 years hasn't asked for my hand in marriage. His current wife called me and told me all about it. FML

by 3yrneveragainn / 12/30/2010 at 7:45pm / Love

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

by lululee53 / 12/30/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, I told my best friend that I liked him and have liked him for a long time. His response was "That's cool. So, when did you get a cat?" FML

by thatsucks / 12/30/2010 at 4:39am / Love

Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML

by ... / 12/29/2010 at 10:24am / Love

Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 8:01am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me for over five months, including while I was deployed to Afghanistan. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 1:21pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 12:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

by ohmy. / 12/27/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my girlfriend dumped me via text message. The sad thing is that I left my fiancée of 5 years to be with a girl I worked with at Walmart. My ex-fiancée is now a doctor. I still work at Walmart. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my husband finally admitted to his mother he'd got married. No wonder she wasn't involved with the wedding. FML

by motherlessbride / 12/27/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

by strwbrry / 12/26/2010 at 9:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

by badhairday / 12/25/2010 at 8:38pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love