Crashburn
United Kingdom
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
pottypattypeepants
United States
Let it all out
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Big yikes
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Rella
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Brittanyy_leigh
Australia
Life's a beach
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
DontTrustAFart
Fort Dodge, United States
Skidmarks
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
anti-peecleaner
United States
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Anonymous
Grand Rapids, United States
Marking territory
Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML
marsbar
United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
gassy
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
United States
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Angry
United States
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
Top comments
bene201 0
Shit happens
rckstrtmmy 4
YDI for dating a dirty bastard.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (250)
bene201 0
Shit happens
gojira666 7
If you don't leave skid marks on your girlfriends stomach, you're definitely doing it wrong.
tifani322 13
Show him a potty training video and make sure he pays close attention to the wiping process.
Jonkbaby 23
skidmark? when was a car involved. I mean, weird
honeysuckel 0
no ur obv not smart a skid mark is something obese people have or just plane old dirty people who don't wipe themselves and leave a streek of poop and brown stuff on their panties ok there now u kno smart 1
_Oblivion_ 12
How hard was he grinding on you to produce a shit mark like that?
YtotsDI 0
Ok all of you people are retarded. Obviously the boyfriend is into weird stuff because it states clearly that the boyfriend and her were wrestling naked. Which is a practice done by elves. They fight yes but then they knock their mate out and damce around them chanting to their cheif to give them a child. Then if they are blessed they get a tan and a child. Too bad she only was tanned on one part of her body and no mention of a child yet....
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
^ Il have what you're on. Your profile info has me sold.
amanda_say_whutt 9
49- right, because only obese and old dirty people are the only ones to get skid-mark ?
9gag4life 1
Only fat people -.- you must be american right ?
_Oblivion_ 12
Both comments were ignorant but that doesn't mean he's American. There are plenty of obese people all around the world, it's the fact that the people in my country chose lose benificial foods.
freakinglaugher 10
-57 commenting high is much more intreating for everyone.
freakinglaugher 10
It seems that 49 is high as well, due to his horrendous grammar. I am retracting my previous statement.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Someone pass #49 a brain, a dictionary, an english teacher, and Doc's patented Idiot-English translator engine before he breeds, please? Also, coming from a person who used to be fat, we don't leave skid marks, so go **** a piece a glass #49.
BrickWalls 2
Hot Wheels beat that! Oh wait...
jjluv456 11
I love when the first comment is actually funny.
6joe9 0
Thats weird /:|
HungerGames95 13
87- You're a douchebag, right?
HungerGames95 13
*81
shanemaximo 7
Looks like they like "two-ply" around a little too much. Eh? Eh?
Swiftly 0
Doesn't matter had sex
BeachBoi_Alex 7
I'm proud of you A_TEEN.
blackstar994 5
57- can I chill with you sometime? I got cash... >.>
dapredatorx 0
148 I see what you did there.
insanelyXnikki 18
Skid marks have nothing to do with how skinny/fat you are. It has to do with how well you wipe your ass. Good god lol
TonyIsMyDog 2
How does one 'damce'?
alicette_fml 12
skid marks a car can make them, an ass can make them
alicette_fml 12
for 47
Jonkbaby 23
beatiful poetry my friend
BeachBoi_Alex 7
This fml is ******* disgusting btw, fyl OP.
The_Tool1 13
Who doesn't like fat people? Once you see them wrestle naked, it changes you.
taytaylal 11
that was a great idea from the start!
Roevera 14
nothing wrong with a little wrestling!
ClassyCommando 13
Naked wrestling: Combat sport of choice for the Ancient Greeks...just add oil.
ILEIKGURLS 0
I hate you.
ClassyCommando 13
You also hate Pendantic and Perdix, 129. Therefore, I am flattered :)
danishbagel 3
I love how 129's profile calls everyone faggots, but at the end it says "suck my dick". I detect high amounts of irony.
ClassyCommando 13
I hate Newt Gingrich.
ClassyCommando 13
Dammit, the guy above me got deleted. Now I look like an overzealous Democrat fanboy. FML
NippsSlipps 10
Wiping before you screw helps.
DrMime 10
He's got it all wrong! Just because I want a ********, doesn't mean I'm supposed to smear urine on my girlfriends face! Same thing goes for his 'situation'...
monkeysareyummy 0
Maybe you shouldn't let him use a bike next time! No? Ok... *slithers back into cave*
JacobWithaY 5
I don't get how that would happen.. Was he sitting on your stomach and rubbing you down?
xiaoxaio 5
188- i think u missed the first comment
geko911 22
Comment #1 is "shit happens" and not "that's a shitty situation". Can't you see the difference? I did... And so did 188...
The_Tool1 13
That's a shitty situation.
k8izgr8_fml 0
mmm I bet that really helped create a romantic atmosphere;)
freakinglaugher 10
Maybe it's the same girl that sniffed her unwashed armpit? He might of thought she would get turned on by the disgustingness.
DrMime 10
My girlfriend can't afford roses, so she just reminds me of her love by wiping her menstrual blood on my forehead... She also does that to remind me that she wants oral sex. Wow I have a gross mind! Feel free to thumb me down.
BostonBruinsFan 8
I agree - w/ #83
rckstrtmmy 4
YDI for dating a dirty bastard.
j_cat187 20
RIP ODB!!!
WCARlover 35
This actually made me laugh pretty hard. I hope you showed it to him
farnsworth 3
No it is her secret she only trusts us FML'ers
ashleykay94 7
Gross. Now you guys can have a naked shower together :D
123josie123 11
I assume that one is meant to be naked when showering?
KRS_13 0
I'd make him clean it off me in the shower! :P
glorialaura21 8
As opposed to a clothed shower?
tanneriscool 2
Clean it off you in the shower? Gross... Get it off as soon as possible. It's poo.
ohmandapants 17
I was under the impression that it was chocolate...
mxpklx 12
That is nastyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
keithabritt 2
Yuck teach the man to wipe his ass
yesio12 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Now make him lick it off?
NippsSlipps 10
Dear goodness no! Don't do that.
WCARlover 35
*gag*
yesio12 13
I was been sarcastic. Chill out.
CoolRainbowdash 15
******* nasty, I just thew in my mouth
NippsSlipps 10
How the **** was that being sarcastic?! It was gross. Nasty. Miley cyrus.
ChaosAngel17 14
21 summed it up pretty well.
laden_swallow09 35
1guy1skidmark?
ohmandapants 17
You obviously have no idea what sarcasm is.
yesio12 13
Lmfao ok
XxAqwa13xX 6
God people take a damn joke!! This is funny xD
ohmandapants 17
^ may think that it's funny, it may be your kind of humour, but it is NOT sarcastic in any way.
CuteGinger 2
I thumbed this up; thought it was actually funny o.o It seems the world no likes?
melissapop 2
actually it is sarcastic...Sooo nice try there? you just need to stop being so uptight.
Andrew_LP_gtr 0
....why?
Andrew_LP_gtr 0
....why?
ohmandapants 17
170- wow, you've made a great comment. You are SO smart. See what I did there? That's sarcasm. Live and learn. Also, are you asking me if it's a nice try? I don't understand why there is a question mark.
aus1095 4
**** you
ohmandapants 17
Ouchie, you hurt my cyber feelings.
TonyIsMyDog 2
I think you were 'being' sarcastic - not 'been'. Do your homework instead of hanging out on here.
freelove_fml 2
Yummy
mintcandyapple 3
ugh ur face is sarcastic! "omg lets check punctuation marks and the correct use o words on fml"!!!!
ohmandapants 17
Stay in school.
JayeMei13 0
Miley Cryus, nice. Haha.