Crashburn
United Kingdom
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
pottypattypeepants
United States
Let it all out
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Big yikes
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Rella
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Brittanyy_leigh
Australia
Life's a beach
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
DontTrustAFart
Fort Dodge, United States
Skidmarks
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
anti-peecleaner
United States
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Anonymous
Grand Rapids, United States
Marking territory
Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML
marsbar
United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
gassy
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
United States
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Angry
United States
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
Top comments
bene201 0
Shit happens
rckstrtmmy 4
YDI for dating a dirty bastard.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (250)
Akharr01 5
That is sick .
florido_fml 10
He missed the target
ALLDAY88 8
Man made happy trail.
astralvagan 20
It kinda sucks that you got shit on, but at the same time, it kinda comes with the territory of naked wrestling...... At least he didn't make you smell his finger on top of it
foreverforward 11
No, it really doesn't come with the territory. If you think it does, you need a lesson in wiping as well my friend.
DocBastard 40
I taught my daughter to wipe her ass when she was 3. Maybe you need to teach your boyfriend.
QWERTYCommander 5
I couldn't wipe my own ass until I was 10. I kept it unwiped when my mom stopped assisting me. So I basically didn't wipe my ass for years until I was 10 years old and suddenly got over the disgusting factor of sliding a wad of paper down a shit-covered asscrack.
newlove_fml 0
165- that's not something you admit openly, honey.
xSorry_fml 10
Sometimes you get streaks of greatness and sometimes you get streaks of shit across you.
nursegaga 0
At least you didn't leave a red stripe on him
kofeinisti 6
Shit is way more gross than period blood... Not to mention way more unsanitary.
geod69 8
If sex wasn't good dump his dirty ass
fuzzybear14 0
i dont get it...
Akharr01 5
Uhm how come?
ILEIKGURLS 0
That's because you're an ignorant douche-nozzle that probably was born when a drunk redneck ****** a peacock. Go back to retardville where you can be amongst your people.
The_Hitdude 12
Woah there #130, no need for such hostility! As for #42 a skid mark is poop stain in a line across boxers, briefs, or in this case, a woman's stomach.
EmperorXing 0
No pain no gain