Crashburn
United Kingdom
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
pottypattypeepants
United States
Let it all out
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Big yikes
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Rella
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Brittanyy_leigh
Australia
Life's a beach
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
DontTrustAFart
Fort Dodge, United States
Skidmarks
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
anti-peecleaner
United States
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Anonymous
Grand Rapids, United States
Marking territory
Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML
marsbar
United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
gassy
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
United States
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Angry
United States
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
Top comments
bene201 0
Shit happens
rckstrtmmy 4
YDI for dating a dirty bastard.
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Comments (250)
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Someone has mudbutt!
RedPillSucks 33
gak!!! Have him wrestle with grandma next time... At least until he learns to wipe.
WCARlover 35
Uh...that is a terrible solution
ILEIKGURLS 0
Oh yeah, because he wasn't joking or anything retard. There's this cool new thing someone invented called "humor". You should check it out!
borkchop1992 15
woah how does that happen
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Dude doesn't wipe his ass.
miserypoison 13
Chili dog anyone?
laden_swallow09 35
I thought it was a Cleveland Steamer?
aperalta1994 0
I clean end is a happy end :)
Pelreskovich 11
Yum, y'all should start buying Charmin!
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
And maybe actually use it :p
Enslaved 38
I hate the "Charmin" brand. Take a closer look, it leaves little TP fuzz balls behind. :P
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Baby wipes are the way to go lol.
Awsumuzzie 12
Omg, no way 44, they're the best thing that came to contact with my bum!
Stupend0us 7
TP alone is inadequate. Invest in wet wipes or a bidet. I have bidets on my home toilets. Can't stand pooping anywhere without having access to a bidet. Wiping with TP alone is gross.
DrMime 10
Charmin brand anal condoms?
Megemegan68 0
Hahaha an entire conversation was started because of this comment^
Llamacod 11
Maybe you can teach him how to wipe his ass
Buttsexpirate 9
That's nasty.
rhysfucker 24
Really? I thought you, of all people, would be "down with the brown"...
Clamcreepy 7
I really hope your did the Aaron Rodgers "discount double check" after he owned you. But yeah your boyfriend is pretty nasty for that. FYL
fistnazal 10
Doo doo chaser. Smh