Poopoo peepee and Love: Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered... - FML

By Crashburn - 16/01/2012 11:09 - United Kingdom

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 881

You deserved it 15 393

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Same thing different taste

Let it all out

By pottypattypeepants - 31/12/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 720

You deserved it 19 655

By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 1 321

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 173

You deserved it 6 022

Skidmarks

By DontTrustAFart - 14/12/2024 05:00 - United States - Fort Dodge

Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 103

By anti-peecleaner - 22/11/2010 22:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 474

You deserved it 5 246

Marking territory

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 768

You deserved it 346

By marsbar - 15/03/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 757

You deserved it 20 112

Toot toot

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 254

You deserved it 36 095

By Angry - 04/08/2009 20:21 - United States

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 953

You deserved it 7 203

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 326

You deserved it 7 538

Next

Top comments

bene201 0

Monday 16 January 2012 16:11

Shit happens

rckstrtmmy 4

Monday 16 January 2012 16:12

YDI for dating a dirty bastard.

Comments

unluckyv 7

Monday 16 January 2012 16:58

wat did it smell like lolol

raphanne_fml 33

Monday 16 January 2012 18:28

Strawberries, obviously.

The_Hitdude 12

Monday 16 January 2012 17:07

Rule #34 No exceptions

BboyMarkieMark 3

Monday 16 January 2012 17:12

Reminds me...eat duh poopoo

foreverforward 11

Monday 16 January 2012 17:16

That's utterly disgusting. I'm too particular about hygiene; I doubt I could find him attractive after that. Unless it was a freak accident where he got sick, but it didn't sound that way to me by the way you worded it. If he's not that worried about taking care of himself now, just picture him in twenty years!!!

beebeeL 1

Monday 16 January 2012 17:18

That's throw-up worthy sick.

kaycee1996 5

Monday 16 January 2012 17:22

That's disgusting!!!

firefighterjohn 9

Monday 16 January 2012 17:26

I just happened to be reading this while taking a dumb.... but ill make sure I wipe good now

macdaddymady 8

Monday 16 January 2012 17:31

I'd throw up. Right then and there.

lowie89 7

Monday 16 January 2012 17:32

I think I just threw up in my mouth! Fyl for sure

Cailaa_ 6

Monday 16 January 2012 17:37

That is absolutely disgusting !

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Today, I went to explore a beach that was rumoured to have big crabs on it instead of the usual small tide pool crabs. I found out that the rumours were true went I went to flip over a rock, which was in fact not a rock. I now have to explain to a doctor how I ended up needing stitches again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 961

You deserved it 1 297

Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 005

You deserved it 3 966

Today, I set out to clean the house while my wife was at work. Starting with the vacuum cleaner, it suddenly started making a strange noise and emitting a burning smell. Panicking, I unplugged it and noticed one of our toddler's socks had been sucked into it, causing it to overheat. I managed to extract the sock, but now our expensive vacuum cleaner is toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 205

Today, my 15 year-old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 596

You deserved it 2 803

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 630

You deserved it 6 246

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 098

You deserved it 9 223