Anonymous
United States
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
41k312
Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
Staples
United Kingdom
Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML
leprechaun23
Cleveland, United States
Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML
Anonymous
Malaysia
Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML
insightful
Australia
Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML
Anonymous
Boise, United States
What? How? Why?
Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
chlolivia
Canada
Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML
thwack
United States
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
just the tip, though
Grovetown, United States
Kitchen Nightmares
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Top comments
K_kanaka 26
Well OP you have shown them how not to use one
MattBC97 4
I'm sure the kindergartners loved to see that...
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Comments (102)
K_kanaka 26
Well OP you have shown them how not to use one
ladyLALAA 29
I'm sure it was a lessoned learned for all parties involved. But ouch, that would kill!
RussianFox 13
Sounds like OP should be learning instead of teaching.
ColtsDoug18 0
And politicians wonder why the children of America are becoming even more stupid, well there you have it.
rofflewaffle 9
You were showing your kids how to properly use a finger? Maybe you should be the one in school.
GothicAngel17 24
74- Did you even read the FML?
Littlemiss__LOL 0
OP is a dumbass.
arcanevandal 0
Actually, 74 is correct. While we know from common sense that OP is talking about a stapler, the way they worded it makes it seem as though they are talking about their finger.
MattBC97 4
I'm sure the kindergartners loved to see that...
moosemonkey1000 6
Why would kindergartners need staplers? I had to you glue sticks or bottles until 5th grade.
Guren 0
Are they writing 2 page essays in Kindergarden now?
jtthegr8 26
"now it's time to learn what words are appropriate during this time in pain"
kkjkidonthate 4
28-I think you mean use not you right?
mwrc8man94 1
Well congrats! It sounds like your quite skilled in the art of the stapler. Not.
I_Hug_Cats 26
Well, congrats! Looks like you're quite skilled in the art of grammar. Not.
iamyummylicious 14
Well, congrats! Looks like you're quite skilled in the art of being a douchebag.
airforce987 20
My shirt is black not *Borat voice*
cyK0tek 0
34- Well congrats! It looks like you're quite skilled in the art of reading comprehension. Not.
nava1210 12
While everyone is picking on each other, I would like to bring the attention back to #3, you spelled you're wrong.
mwrc8man94 1
Actually I used your instead of you're, but I didn't misspell anything. Good try though. Not.
Krirn 21
Reminds me of how the DEA shot his own foot during a firearm safety presentation with an "unloaded" gun. (Video available on YouTube)
K_kanaka 26
Dude i had to watch that video for one of my Criminal Justice classes. That guy ****** up so bad.
Krirn 21
You gotta hand it to him though, he played it off and stayed calm. On another note, did you see the longer version where he brought out the bigger gun and had the audience scared?
rattusrattus 19
"And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what you DON'T do with a gun. Can I get some first aid over here?"
perdix 31
You don't need to show kindergarteners how to properly use a finger -- they won't be driving for at least ten years!
Krirn 21
They can always practice with the kid that cut them in the lunch line and took the last chocolate milk.
LexSwift 17
Just say, "THIS is what you want to avoid, kids!" and play it cool like a bad ass ************.
br0ccoli 15
Hopefully one of them won't staple his foreskin onto a table.
RedPillSucks 33
What kindergarten classes were you attending where this was even a remote possibility??
blackheart24 10
Really dude? What the **** is wrong with you? This is the second ****** inappropriate comment I've read from you today. Get a life you pervert.
br0ccoli 15
If the teacher doesn't teach them right, they're going to do it wrong. Monkey see, monkey do improperly. Right, dude?
rememberPOGS 2
Keep your eye on the stapler!
HeartOfLead 24
Alas the stapler uprising has come. Unfortunately who would've thought of this happening in our lifetime. I must prepare.
ILike_Dancing123 19
"this is how you not use staplers." *shows demonstration of staple in finger.* *Cue* The shot of horror that's on the kids faces appears.
KatichBroski 0
wow UR GOOOD(:! hAHA
sparkrok 8
wow UR NOT(:! hAHA that's right...
LMA0 5
90- You missed a few OOOOoOoOOoooOooOooooOOoOoO's. It really helps get the point across.