Kids: Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 06:02 - United States

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 370

You deserved it 24 225

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Same thing different taste

By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 739

You deserved it 3 620

By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 272

You deserved it 49 055

By leprechaun23 - 23/04/2012 04:21 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 285

You deserved it 4 310

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 14:00 - Malaysia

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 125

You deserved it 3 134

By insightful - 20/03/2012 04:33 - Australia

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 231

You deserved it 11 041

What? How? Why?

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 22:01 - United States - Boise

Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 300

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 076

You deserved it 34 020

By chlolivia - 14/02/2012 00:28 - Canada

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 736

You deserved it 4 391

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 084

You deserved it 3 982

Kitchen Nightmares

By just the tip, though - 28/01/2014 17:06 - United States - Grovetown

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 11 923

Next

Top comments

K_kanaka 26

Friday 16 March 2012 11:56

Well OP you have shown them how not to use one

MattBC97 4

Friday 16 March 2012 11:56

I'm sure the kindergartners loved to see that...

Comments

pixieloveunicorn 0

Saturday 17 March 2012 8:28

FAIL

unkown7866 0

Saturday 17 March 2012 9:07

Ha you ****

crazyblackchick 0

Saturday 17 March 2012 9:31

Watch closely, children. This is how you fail.

BunBunBabe 8

Saturday 17 March 2012 16:38

Somewhere out there little kids are purposefully stapling their appendages... Way to go

sensboltsfan84 4

Saturday 17 March 2012 21:51

Good job, since they're too young to be learning how to use a stapler

fuzz97 23

Sunday 5 May 2013 7:50

amazing

The_9th_Doctor 18

Monday 26 August 2013 1:29

you're a keeper

gAt_d 26

Friday 8 November 2013 23:06

At least you showed them what not to do.

atm3334 5

Saturday 21 December 2013 6:13

Still not as bad as super gluing 2 fingers together

Sudoc 29

Wednesday 20 May 2015 19:51

Kind of like that guy who was showing a classroom full of kids a gun (I'm not sure why) and said that he was the only one in the room qualified to handle the gun and then promptly shot himself in the leg.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 109

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 962

You deserved it 3 112

Today, I've been so anxious that I downloaded a crossword app to try to focus. You get stars whenever you complete a puzzle, either 1, 2, or 3. I'm now up to 400 stars and placed first in a competition I didn't even know I was participating in. I'm still anxious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 164

Today, my mom’s house and mine share the same garden. After I complained about an ugly compost bin she had outside my bedroom window, she finally took it away and put it… smack dab in front of my terrace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 139

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 524

You deserved it 8 154

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 128

You deserved it 7 741

Today, I panicked when I felt a hard bump on the side of my stomach. I thought I had appendicitis. Turns out it was my ab muscles. I've been overweight so long I didn't know what they felt like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 390

You deserved it 27 249