Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
KBeatz 5
Starts having a mini seizure? My dear, are you sure he wasn't just finishing?
MrSassypants 33
I highly doubt it. A majority of parents don't allow their child's name to be Dumbfuck.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
labudamike 6
Maybe they shouldn't confiscate clothes and we would be alright
Futacy 29
Love is a wonderful thing, isn't it?
labudamike 6
I don't think pain pills were the only things he took
kakarot2 11
^You all fail at life
Bliss391 7
Really?? No one confiscated his clothes!! He was in the middle of sex so was most likely naked when he had his seizure.
whosindahouse 9
No shit 70!
saintsrocksocks 10
70.... You're an idiot....
Inheritance 10
70 sure you're not a blonde? -in reference to her profile pic-
chadmkoon 4
Are you sure your 20 years old?
anonymousgurl5 2
#1 is the idiot
KitKat16 9
I agree! #1 didn't get what was happening
blaackandprouud 20
I think #1 was being sarcastic.
fury1031 10
He passed out and had a seizure because of an overdose on pills and you didn't take him to a hospital? You are a stupid bitch.
KBeatz 5
Starts having a mini seizure? My dear, are you sure he wasn't just finishing?
Goldenchest 14
Is his name Seizure Man?
DrDilllonReese 12
Is your name Dumbfuck?
MrSassypants 33
I highly doubt it. A majority of parents don't allow their child's name to be Dumbfuck.
yahoowizard 16
People have named their kids worse things, i wouldn't be surprised
astoryofroses 9
43 - true. then again, there are 4 people in America whose names are Herp Derp. with that, I'm guessing anything is possible
Shadowvoid 33
Actually, it is considered child abuse to name a child anything offensive or that could be interpreted as such. They may have court processions and all that. Generally the child just gets a name change.
cliffibom 15
KBeatz's profile pic makes his comment just that much better
TriflingAllDay 6
69- I think that your like the 1000th person to say this. Im sure it is something we all realize now. When a profile picture goes with the comment. So thank you 69. Thank you.
greenie213 23
Haha. You said 69.
KBeatz 5
69- thanks, I guess I should comment on your profile picture, but actually I just find it rather... Disturbing.
mduffy08 8
Hey look he did it again!
racerapj 10
Everything I see about KBeatz makes me wanna read it in a fancy voice in my head
AceArctic 4
43 - My rival in Pokemon: his parents were an exception.
AussieChild 22
Didn't you notice the signs that he'd taken so many pain pills?? There would have been symptoms before he passed out...
lonkite101 14
Well since they were having sex, it probably would have been harder to tell.
AussieChild 22
Well seeing as they were only 5 minutes in, the symptoms would have been showing BEFORE the sex started
lonkite101 14
25- true, but it never says when he took the pills, so we'll never know..
krnpanda 2
5 minutes in? Is that 4 minutes 30 seconds after he was done? Or is that just me
everton99 16
My uncle is addicted to pain pills and the only sign he showed before he passed out was the process of falling down.
racerapj 10
Man I wish overdosing on pain pills gives me the ability to action dive and shoot people in slow-motion. Then again, I have been playin too much Max Payne 3...
Rise_Up_fml 3
That's when you run away!
lonkite101 14
Or thats when you help him and make sure he's okay.
I_lost_the_game 25
If you don't wanna get laid. Then yeah, run!
yellowpuppies 5
Bad when it was happening was it good that's the real question.
shireman97 6
Where did you find that picture cause I think it's amazing
Morifarty 5
Have you ever heard of punctuation marks?
iCherryPanda 12
Still counts!
hannahmiss 2
He sounds like a winner.
HeartOfLead 24
Sounds like a porno?
ManInTheMachine 19
Did you attempt to get help while he was having said seizure? I know there's a 300 character limit, but there is no indication in the FML that you did. That aside, you should probably make sure he isn't O-Ding on medication from this point on. This could've ended a lot worse if you weren't there.
TheDrifter 23
Maybe she likes the rythm of those muscle spasms? Sounds like a freaky, but dangerous fetish to me.
alycion 38
In some areas, him being that messed up on meds takes away his ability to consent and turns it into rape if he decides he regrets the whole situation.
oppawoppa 9
Sorry OP, but he probably doesn't even remember the experience if he's on so many meds. Cheer up, you'll find someone who hopefully won't yell at you for stealing his clothes.
ManInTheMachine 19
Are my eyes deceiving me? Is an overused meme actually getting thumbed up on FML? I may have just lost my last shred of hope in the FML community.