Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
Starts having a mini seizure? My dear, are you sure he wasn't just finishing?
MrSassypants 33
I highly doubt it. A majority of parents don't allow their child's name to be Dumbfuck.
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Comments (142)
martin_martian7 11
"I passed out while doing it, doesn't matter had sex!"
SonOfAMitch 14
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!! (or thumbs down... that works too...)
LizzCat77 9
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. At the part where he's ticked because "they confiscated [his] clothes", that is.
racerapj 10
Was the BF Max Payne?
jarockstar27 10
Wow he sounds like a winner! Maybe you should check why your attracted to him in the first place OP....
thugnashty 0
I doubt this happened
CastielJ 6
Signs of a "Bad boy" or just a bad guy. WOMEN LOVE THOSE KIND OF GUYS. Could be 2 weeks or 2 years, but oh there well be another FML about a sob story where she is the victim, where "men are all scumbags!".
klovemachine 24
"doesn't matter had sex" is an awesome phrase; it should be used more XD
EvilDave 13
OP, I look forward to your future FMLs about how all men are dicks, how your boyfriend treats like shit, etc. Should make good reading.
tomjenkins 0
Did ya have to get homeboy THAT high to get him to agree to have sex with you in the first place? Why not just put a gun to his head?