Time waster
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was OK, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Relationships are built on more than sex. You might need to reevaluate your attraction to him.
Andurrr 3
I'm not sure if he lasted for a couple of seconds, or if you wear an astronaut suit every day.
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Comments (186)
WeooBeans 14
It had probably been a while...
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's why you don't put people on a pedestal.
blcksocks 19
5 years worth of fantasizing about someone... Maybe her expectations were built up too high in all these years. Could be a possibility..
fmessiah 19
Probably been awhile in which time he has also been crushing on her and building her up. Next time, cuddle up for awhile and let him recoup, then start kissing gently, building up, wandering hands, etc and the second time should last a lot longer unless his name is Jim and you are Nadia(?names?).
Cbizzlez 10
Doesn't matter had sex
CrewBoy 10
Or it's just one of those days. Some times ill only last a few minutes and somedays I just can't cum for an hour or more and just go until it hurts the girl too much. There are so many factors that cum into this whole cumming business. Maybe the dude was just having a good day?
FurryPride 9
I'm tired of the belief men are suppose to be sex demons. Average man lasts 2-7 minutes. Suck it up.
dsc123 2
OP your kinda a bitch...
chaps93 6
Stop wearing so many damn clothes
Zoh_Aubrey 8
Or OP could be immensely hot. At least, that's what guys say.
redmane 21
73- 2 to 7 minutes? The average man is doing something wrong.
The1CalledGOAT 11
Guess who is above average :D
gracehi 33
That's what I was thinking, 1. My boyfriend probably lasted about a minute our first time, but he hadn't had sex in about a year. Now he lasts anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. And the same thing happened with my ex when I got back from boot camp. This COULD be a good thing, OP. It likely means he doesn't sleep around. You don't want to date a ****, do you?
Discombobulated9 12
#107 You need to stop watching **** and listening to bullshit. Come back to the real world and realise that men don't last hours upon hours, we all have pours, womens breasts aren't naturally as large and perky as they are in pornos.
redmane 21
141- I don't watch **** and I don't listen to bullshit. I'm not an idiot. I'm not saying that men should last hours upon hours. How stupid do you think I am? I know everyone is different but 15 - 30 minutes is what I think to be a regular amount of time. It's great if some women and men can get off in 2-7 minutes. Whatever. Maybe I've just been lucky to have a guy that is considerate and takes his time.
MedKits 9
What you think to be the regular amount of time? Well now, let me see, you would only know the 'regular', or in other words, average time of men if you had slept with the majority of the men on the planet. Something you wish to tell us? Hmm?
redmane 21
147- Let me restate. It is what I think SHOULD be the amount of time. I'm not denying that 2-7 is the average. I've had 2 long term boyfriends. I'm not an expert, nor did I claim to be. The current one is one I'd wish to keep. I'm no ****. Obviously, you don't have to be a **** to have sex. Other commenters have stated the average amount of time, getting their facts from, I don't know, studies that come from journals in the internet maybe? Brown university did one. I'm just saying that the average should be higher. Sex is good. Therefore, more sex is even better. But thanks for drawing a completely inaccurate conclusion from that one little comment.
ewang_ 12
Shut up
Daederoth 10
Totally, don't sweat it. Keep at it and he will get better. We can't all be studs right out of the gate.
cajekraze 7
Take charge. Use a phrase like "Now that we got the first one out of the way..." Then get him a new condom and keep him aroused. You'll get a lot more playtime the second time around and he'll probably think you're awesome
JB007_fml 3
Wow!
JB007_fml 3
108: That's incredible.
Chucks719 4
Guess who else is above average ;D
ergone56 15
U have to build up a ig tolerance again to be able to last longer after a while. Lol good luck op
Welshite 40
Relationships are built on more than sex. You might need to reevaluate your attraction to him.
Ainarr 29
Right. If you love someone, something like this shouldn't matter. Especially if it was a five-year crush. Seriously?
doctorhook86 25
12: Crushes are all about false impressions. OP had a false impression for five years that this guy would be fun in bed. That turned out not to be the case.
Ainarr 29
What I mean is, it shouldn't matter how 'great in bed' someone is anyways. It's not all about that.
Kiki242 19
She may still like him but she's just disappointed with his performance.
CrewBoy 10
Who said anything about relationships?
S182 15
Sex isn't everything, but it is an important element.
nictransitglory 4
People who talk about sex not being important, aren't having sex. If the sex is really really bad, the relationship won't last no matter how much the people really like each other. Reason being someone will eventually cheat. Anyone who calls me out with an example of a sexless or bad sex relationship of over a year is being cheated on.
JBM3292 19
I don't care if I love him to death. If he can't satisfy you there's no point in staying, don't settle. You need to find someone who not only satisfies you out of bed; butt in it as well.
evilplatypus 39
93 - I've been with my fiancé two years and we've never had sex. Neither of us has a discernible sex drive, though we enjoy watching **** together. My parents are together and love each other and haven't had sex in six years. Neither of them have ever cheated (trust me, there are no secrets in my family. We all know WAY too much about each other).
BriannaMGK 15
But if you don't have a good sex life with someone, it's proven to cause frustration & resentment. So you have to have a good sex life to keep a balanced relationship.
CrewBoy 10
95, I'm sorry but in all honesty that just sounds unpleasant.
LiesAndMischief 4
96 - What about asexuals? We can have sexless romantic relationships and be perfectly content, just saying.
Lennes 12
To elaborate on what 102 said, I once read about an asexual couple who never had sex. They just cuddled. Which to me is just adorable.
free2speak 14
I agree that having sex is a healthy part of a relationship but I don't think sex should determine whether you stay with a person or not because sex can be improved upon. 95, I'm not sure what you hoped to accomplish by writing that since that is a rare example. In my opinion, sex is normal and healthy. It's not an "icky" taboo thing. Its actually rather fun when you're committed to someone. I've been with my bf for 4 years and nothing beats waking up on Monday morning with a good dose of morning sex to get the endorphins kicking. You're missing out ... but to each his own.
baileygirl88 8
As *crazy* as this sounds, some people still like to wait until marriage to have sex, me and my boyfriend of almost 4 years being 2 of those people. I agree that while I'm sure a good sex life is important in marriage, I assure you it's not the only thing that matters. Maybe when me and my boyfriend get married we will have horrible chemistry in bed...won't know until it happens. Doesn't matter. Point is you can have a long, fabulous relationship with someone WITHOUT the sex!
merimar3 4
You are incredibly wrong. If two people truly love each other, bad sex will not get in the way of their relationship.
AKGirlinSD 20
Instead if all these assumptions, maybe the guy had a crush on her too and has been waiting for this moment for 5 years. And it is no secret if a guy has been waiting that long, to sexually be with his crush/date/girlfriend or whomever, that most likely he will ****** very quickly. OP, give your crush a chance. This could easily be that he was overly excited, which you should take as a compliment.
lostmongoose 23
128 and some of us never intend on getting married. To each their own. I find your self control amazing though.
free2speak 14
153, I find the boy's dedications to be worth an applaud. I don't know anyone who is in a relationship for that long and hasn't had sex yet. if you have to force yourself to not have have sex because of moral or religious reasons then I believe it's wrong. It's just a biological function, except it's one of the more complex one which requires more careful evaluation. If you're with someone for 4 years and the thought of having sex has never bothered either of you then that's fine. Odd but still fine.
evilplatypus 39
124 - I gave two examples (so four people) from my family alone, so it obviously isn't that "rare". Nor am I (or my parents) prudes or consider it "taboo" (where the hell did you get that out of what I wrote?). My fiancé and I simply have no sex drive. We get no pleasure from it and have no real desire for it. An asexual commented not long after me, so apparently, once again, it is not that "rare".
McAninch35 9
I think most of you are generalizing too much. Some people value sex more than others. Personally, if I don't have any kind of chemistry with someone in bed, it does affect the relationship. I find that connection to be an incredibly important one. However, others don't feel that way. They wait until marriage or something of the sort, and that's fine. Perfectly fine. Everyone's definition of a relationship is different, and everyone makes them work in different sorts of ways.
lilpanda4 5
No it isn't it is to keep an attraction alive but a relationship is built off common ground that the 2 people have.
kumonsucks 7
Handcuffs work right
Inheritance 10
Handcuffs are just kinky, they don't make guys last longer in bed.
TheDrifter 24
But they will keep her around for round 2... I mean, uhmm, yeah, what he said.
ozone9914 2
Lol
the_enigma1019 1
Some guys can't help it, I'm sure he feels even worse about it than you do
meggieeee51 9
It shouldn't be over then. He should work on helping her since he couldn't control it for long. Guys get off and girls are left disappointed. The man shouldn't let her leave that way.
SkoomaKi 28
"Guys get off and girls are left disappointed". It's foolish to generalize the whole male population. I can assure you that many of us "guys" would prefer to get the girl off first.
doctorhook86 25
"Was that as good for you as it was for me?"
meggieeee51 9
You're right. I should have been more clear. This guy clearly left her unsatisfied so "this guy got off and left her disappointed. He shouldn't have left her that way."
CadillacPimpen 6
Too late..
Drigr 9
Yep 4, I'm one of "those guys." I don't have sex very often, so by the time I do, its like "OHMYFUCKINGGOD!!!!!" What seperates a guy who finishes too quickly from a complete jackass is making sure to spend other time getting her off, or upfront, suggesting a second round. My partner probably has 3-4 orgasms to my 1
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
If I was him, I would have continued with my mouth.
Epikouros 32
Sorry to spoil your blamefest, girls, but I'm not sure that 'le_evan' is a woman. If OP's a gay bottom, there's not much of a replacement for getting ******. But he should give this guy another chance if he's worth crushing on for five years.
onlychildFTW 34
65 could be right about that
ComTlancy 12
Funny, if a girl cums really quick, no one has an issue. But if a guy does this then there a problems left, right and centre.
SammyS2012 21
If a girl orgasms, she can still continue, while a man might have trouble continuing because most of the time, he "softens". That's why if a woman finishes early it's not that bad. Of course both parties should focus on satisfying their partners and not just themselves.
AKGirlinSD 20
65, The OP could be a girl and she could have used his name. I believe in French, "le" means "the". So maybe, "The Evan" is what the girl is calling the situation, after her crush's real name. And, OP is a boy, who really cares?
AKGirlinSD 20
23, My guy makes it about satisfying me first every time. Gives him gratification and makes him perform better. Basically, I concur. But, younger men who are new to sex, usually do make it about themselves (not all but most).
AKGirlinSD 20
Correction: if OP is a boy, who really cares?
redmane 21
Evan Rachel Wood from the movie "Across the Universe" is a woman. It still doesn't matter if OP is a man or a women, but "Evan" is a unisex name.
binkztaah 2
That's fukd up haha u like the taste of ur own **** do ya
onlychildFTW 34
What has that got to do with anything 157???
Andurrr 3
I'm not sure if he lasted for a couple of seconds, or if you wear an astronaut suit every day.
StalkerChick 13
Ok you just made me wonder what sex in space would feel like..
missamberrose 17
Thanks for sharing
StalkerChick 13
Anything for you, sweetie.
onlychildFTW 34
Sex in space would feel the same as on earth. Friction would still exist.
Posthuman 26
But you could do it UPSIDE-*******-DOWN
Sandman366 6
You would ride from underneath. Your mind would be blown more than you would just thinking about it.
HaiImJulia 3
Still crushing?
MormonPornstar 7
What I don't understand... is why it took her 5 years to hook up with the dude. Ladies - If you are interested in a guy, present the goods, and leave the rest to the men.
lsdecaria1 5
Be happy you had sex
Lenho 26
Bad sex is not worth even a smile.
gree_fml 11
Bad sex? What's that?
LolSarcasm 14
I feel your pain, girl.
hamrtym 15
Next time, before you think he's about to cum, yell out 'YOUR MOM!' that should slow things up a bit.
Soloman212 28
Not for everyone...
THATguy0698 4
Or he'll just be creeped out and stop...
sikkpsychodoll 3
Maybe he was too excited that he came quick...
gc327072 31
Duckfaces on FML? What is the world coming to...
StalkerChick 13
Duck hunting season can't get here soon enough.
ICastillo 25
Bang*.......oh shit it's not duck season yet oops my bad.
OhDearBetrayal 25
It's duck hunting season in Minnesota and the US.
AH1Zviper 15
I'm surprised. Ducks migrate south for the winter. Go catch up with them.
evilplatypus 39
You make it sound like Minnesota isn't part of the US...
CharresBarkrey 16
I like how 11 changed their profile picture after being called out.
sikkpsychodoll 3
I like how u take time.to comment on my pic, ooh & i changed.it because i can ha