Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
Starts having a mini seizure? My dear, are you sure he wasn't just finishing?
MrSassypants 33
I highly doubt it. A majority of parents don't allow their child's name to be Dumbfuck.
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Comments (142)
twinkiefeets 17
Seems pretty sad that the only time in two years you hooked up with your "love" is when he overdoses on pills!
Kingbreezy04 10
Damn you must have some good shit
SwtCherryPie 26
So he OD'ed and you just left him there till he woke up?! WTF is wrong with you. He could have died.
XmoulcraftX 6
Welcome to hell :3
jennifernorvell 7
U been in love w some loser that takes pills? U need to raise ur standards
Boob_fml 6
I can't believe it took 59 comments before this was said. That is sad.
Myo_fml 20
You* You**. For the love of Spiderman.
patacus 14
I tried saying something to a similar effect, but got massively down voted. I don't care how harsh my comment was, its the truth.
eowny 5
At least u finnally have sex with the one u like, kudos to that!
mzsammy81g 1
Thats happened to me b4 thats wat u get for waiting dont wait too long or get ur expectations up high cuz in the end youll get fkd literally
redmane 21
Language skills are strong in this one.
OneBigMessUp 5
Im sure there will be other chances where you can have sex again! Hopefully it will turn out better for you both lol
Luck77 6
you had sex with him, knowing he was stoned? R. A. P. E. rape.
flutter4 7
If he ODs on pain pills you should probably find someone else. That sucks that you had sex with him after 2 years and it turned out like that.