Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
Starts having a mini seizure? My dear, are you sure he wasn't just finishing?
MrSassypants 33
I highly doubt it. A majority of parents don't allow their child's name to be Dumbfuck.
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Comments (142)
patacus 14
you sure can pick a winner, huh? what's the deal with so many girls being attracted to worthless scum bags *mini rant*
greenie213 23
It was an overdose. It's not like it was intentional.
TheDrifter 23
Hey, if they only went for decent, kind, caring guys, how would the rest of us get laid?
bigdonnie624 15
Because over doses aren't intentional? The guy knew his limit and wanted to push it. He knew what he did was wrong.
patacus 14
if he wasn't abusing pain pills in the first place he wouldn't of overdosed.
redmane 21
*Wouldn't have overdosed. You're welcome.
patacus 14
thanks. simple mistake. actually, pretty much everyone where I live says of... does this mean I live in a town full of stupid folk?
redmane 21
Nope. Grammatical errors don't necessarily make you stupid. I'm just being my usual chipper grammar-Nazi self. Carry on.
jooliaboolia 6
oh yeah, by the way this guy had a mildly serious medical condition that he might want to be hospitalized for, but YOUR life sucks because you couldn't have sex with him? pathetic.
TheDrifter 23
It's slightly more amusing when the op is a woman having her way with an obviously intoxicated man. Enough so that I refrained from thumbing the comment.
abceasyas123abc 12
That's a bit of a harsh assessment. Don't kick the poor girl while she's already down.
journeytotheend 16
Meh, shit happens!! Round two?
DollyDope 17
Congrats on taking advantage of your love, was it worth it?
rcgirl2 11
Did he know your name? Because when another lady was having sex with a guy she's been in love with, he didn't even know it.
ImaginaryFoe 0
I agree with the first part. The word "guy" can have so many meanings so I don't know if it's fair to say she doesn't know him well although it does seem likely that if they were friends or dating, she would've mentioned it. OP, I think you've watched or read too many love stories. Sex isn't the ultimate culmination of love. If that was your only goal, you probably could've thrown it at him two years ago. If you want something more, stop setting yourself up for failure. If you plan on having a relationship, discuss his health issues with him so you know what to do next time around.
shaggan 6
That's the funniest thing I've ever red he's a keeper lmao.
redmane 21
You know how to punctuate sentences and spell. I'm impressed.
sophie22_fml 8
Over dose? So he was pretty much stoned and you had sex with him? Isn't that like having sex with someone drunk? OMG you raped him!