Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
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Top comments
aimferd 4
Hope she didnt use it...
TheChowski 2
She was just trying to shake things up a bit!
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Comments (185)
TheChowski 2
She was just trying to shake things up a bit!
Wheredidgrungego 12
Well I don't think OP felt her "good vibes."
BatteryAddict 11
At least her mom didn't throw the chemistry assignment papers OP had spent 6 months on like all the other FML moms. . . js.
jonan1212 5
Those were good puns but i bet I can top them... VIBRATOR
margie2194 12
Russian women are so kinky ;)
RrLSf19 0
Awkward....
BrickWalls 2
I think I would internally combust of embarrassment if that happened to me. Sorry Op
extradorkyloser 4
I actually don't think this is that bad. Obviously her mom didn't freak out. And, hey, now she doesn't have to hide it! Not to say it isn't painfully embarrassing, but what's done is done.
kooochris1995 14
I don't think you topped it #64
TheBornKreation 0
Seems legit :D
fukthisss 5
Well that sucks! ..... Awkward ...
leogirl95 12
She was just making it ready for your arrival!
mark5723 0
Oh it does suck? I didn't think it would cause its on FML...
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Six week vacation and then coming home to an organized room? Yea your life is shit buddy
Hunthas 17
Sounds like a shaky situation!
upyourzlolz 11
No.
ShyAnn29 15
They don't shake, they vibrate
ICATiger 13
This comment sent vibrations down my spine...
brianfantana32 10
It's more like a vibraty situation........ No? Alright
Jonkbaby 23
hoped she didn't get charged with BATTERY
KiddNYC1O 22
The **** is going on in this thread?
xaer0babiix0 0
Are we all stating ridiculously cheesy jokes?
linkinpark98 24
-_-
aimferd 4
Hope she didnt use it...
I_AmTheStig 0
She still should probably clean it.
alishous 8
Yes. I'm sure her own mother took her vibrator for a ride.
TheRealLori 0
Moving out any time soon? Six week vacation...you must be a grown up by now if you can afford that. Time to cut the cord.
tuppencej777 0
Vibrators are wireless.
TheRealLori 0
ROFL!!!
julia_lynn 21
Not all necessarily. The hitachi magic wand is known as the cadillac of vibrators, and it has to be plugged in. :P
ThomasAZ 3
You scare me.
FirstTigerHobbes 13
58- how you know this information makes me feel very uncomfortable.... *shuffles away slowly*
Babushka_Homyak 10
Russian culture is such that it is not unusual for children to live with parents into their twenties. This isn't America, where people are for some inexplicable reason expected to throw their children out as soon as they reach legal age.
julia_lynn 21
105 - I've got a boyfriend who lives on another continent. Girl's gotta get her rocks off somehow. :P
Troll_spray 6
@111 or you can always get a boyfriend thats not in another continent? Just saying...
julia_lynn 21
Yeah I should totally dump my boyfriend just because the distance means I can't have sex with him regularly. Whatever, dumbass.
Troll_spray 6
I didnt mean it in a bad way..... I can now see why you have a "Boyfriend" in another continent. Have a good day.
XThe_Invoker 4
^ Win
Blooblibloo 4
Absolutly agree, there are plenty of countries where it's totally normal to go on living with its parents long after 18. For me it's normal that around 20yo kids want to get some independance but to think that they 'have' to move out is a bit strange... My family is more about helping and suporting eachother wich for us includes leaving with parents until you have enouth means to live well on your own. But it goes both way and and we are not considered as bothers. In some other culture you just don't quit home before getting married and in some other you go on living with parents after the wedding. And also you don't really know about OP situation so you can't judge her about still be living with her mom
DoubleDose 0
The reason kids in America are thrown out of their parents houses as soon as they reach legal age is because kids in America are rude little ***** and parents don't want to deal with the disrespect that their kids give them anymore then they have too. And from what I've gathered in my time as a teen reaching the legal age teens are tired of parents rules and want to live life their way.
pabloA 2
Omg hahaha I love this comment haha 111
that_band_nerd 22
#170. Just because shows like Jersey Shore and Toddlers and Tiaras and other general crap show American children/young adults being spoiled little ass wipes doesn't mean we all are. Not everyone grew up with thousands of dollars to waste on their children so they would win some stupid pageant. Stop being a stereotypical jerk please. Sincerely, The Good Americans
mwrc8man94 1
Sounds like she had a good time too
Gunplay 6
She probably used it.
ICATiger 13
You don't say!
Torva_fml 16
Or... She probably didn't.
tuppencej777 0
You must be really lonely and co dependent to 'tuck in' a vibrator.
The_Hitdude 12
She didn't tuck it in, her mom did. If you read the FML properly instead of rushing to the comments, you would see that she said she left it under her bed before leaving.
tuppencej777 0
I was talking about her Mom tucking it in. Feel as smart as you did a minute ago?
tuppencej777 0
If I was referring to the poster, it would say OP. It was a generalized statement.
The_Hitdude 12
Well in that case, maybe you should've worded it properly. Saying "to tuck in your vibrator" is different from saying "for your mom to tuck in your vibrator". The former implied possession, (the vibrator was OP's, as you know) and the latter did otherwise. Do I need to continue, or do you get it?
tuppencej777 0
You must be really bored to continue to try and prove your false interpretation of what I wrote. Generalized statements are not specific to anyone. Do you tuck in your vibrator, and sing it lullabies? You must have pretty low self-esteem to go onto a website and try to correct other people, and demand that they be more specific to satisfy your own confusions and possible embarrassment.
The_Hitdude 12
Ooh, getting touchy are we? I will admit I am mildly bored, it being a rainy Saturday morning and such. But that has nothing to do with me correcting. I merely suggested that you use better wording. I apolooze for coming off as rude originally, but my self esteem is fine, thanks.
ICaughtFire 4
30, 8 said "...to tuck in a vibrator," not "...to tuck in YOUR vibrator." So no, it isn't possessive, you're just an asshole.
tuppencej777 0
Well the point is proven because 'you' can't be the OP, because like you understood, she didn't tuck it in. What I wrote also states 'a' vibrator, again not specific. If I would have wrote 'your' vibrator then it would be a possessive of the OP. So 'you' is anyone. Anyone that tucks in 'a' vibrator. Anyone that tucks in a vibrator is codependent and lonely in my opinion. So do you (yes, YOU) get it?
The_Hitdude 12
My bad, my bad. No need for name calling. I think we're all allowed our asshole-ish moments, aren't we? ;)
tuppencej777 0
Sure. You, and anyone else that thumbs down my comment can enjoy your asshole-ish moment together. :)
zombiegold 23
I want to be a part of this argument too!
ICaughtFire 4
46, yes we do, and I have many of my own. For the most part, I just wanted you to see what 8 was trying to say.
insertnameherr 11
Instead of saying "you must", the proper grammar is "one must". This makes this comment much more understandable, and therefore the pointless argument even more pointless.
chili10 18
Listen, # 8 is right. Just because you didn't get it doesn't mean you have the right to give him an English lesson.
chili10 18
Although I do think he could have said "one must" instead of "you must".
GayLordSteamBath 0
Her mom just wanted to clean her room, that's all. Her mom doesn't have to be lonely to tuck it in...
Myzfit 0
I like the way you put things. Very blunt.
iAmScrubs 19
You're a ******* idiot.
cash_monkey72 9
You enjoyed your vacation, she enjoyed your vibrator, that sounds like a win-win to me!
tacozzbaby 5
**** u
joee182 3
you shoulda locked your door and not left your room a mess. and you dont know her parents could have paid for her trip.
thisisafunnyname 12
Most rooms can't be locked from the outside and some don't lock at all.
MerrikBarbarian 9
There are locks that lock both sides (knob on inside, key on outside), but they are pricy. I had one on my room til I could get away from an abusive, alcoholic parent.