Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
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Top comments
aimferd 4
Hope she didnt use it...
TheChowski 2
She was just trying to shake things up a bit!
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Comments (185)
arvale8802 1
Wow...that's embarrassing
aj98 2
Why didn't you take it with you? duh!
flea_of_death 23
I've seen an fml like this before -_-
clownpocket74 1
Next time try tucking it safely in your rectum when you vacation
Jasonf6 0
When living at home NOTHING is ever "hidden" under your bed.
theonlysweetpea 10
I don't see the problem. Your room's clean, your mom obviously doesn't care that you have a vibrator,
witchdoctor1 9
Here's what you say "ma...what were ya doing?" play cool. N pretend it's not yours. Hey you were gone for six weeks. Lot things can happen when a kids outta the house
Rocky007 15
Your mom is cool.
bubo_fml 11
Next to your pillow?! Well, OK...Just be careful you don't chip your teeth...
RebelYell14 4
My question: how did you go without a vibrator for SIX WEEKS?