Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
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Top comments
aimferd 4
Hope she didnt use it...
TheChowski 2
She was just trying to shake things up a bit!
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Comments (185)
FalconCrunch 4
She should have posed it with your teddy bear as if he was using it.
Ins_Knie 2
'He'? Yuck.
EvilLilCupcake 10
Men use sex toys too. They are made for stimulation, and guys, same as girls, enjoy sexual stimulation.
ICATiger 13
I'd suggest getting a new viberator....
chili10 18
Why? So op's mom can find 2?
TalkingTowelTim 0
She's a girl, I'm sure she understands. Hey, it could've been your dad who found it. That shit would've been awkward!
Savra_fml 17
Why did you not take your vibrator with you? At least she didn't say "I need to talk to you" when you came back. That one sentence that has the power to make you remember every single bad thing you did in your whole life. FYL
The_Hitdude 12
I thought the same thing...in terms of taking it with her, anyway.
drlove78843 6
Maybe she took her boyfriend instead.
Ninja_assassinXD 8
Wait, if she had a boy friend, why the vibrater?? Lol
docscientist 10
You could say that was the buzz around the house while you were gone.
mintcar 10
Always best to find a really good hiding spot if you're going to be living at home. These sort of situations tend to spark up really awkward conversations.
nslurve 4
You should be glad. Your sweet mother cleaned your room for you! Don't be ungrateful now!
The_Hitdude 12
And correct me if I'm wrong, but don't people correct others all the time on this site? I assumed it was th norm, and people wouldn't get so upset about it. Oh, and this is a generalized statement: "Someone must be really co dependent to tuck in their vibrator." I'm out. Peace to all!
ICATiger 13
This is the third time i've had to say it so. Y U no hit reply button!!!!
Savra_fml 17
I hope this is not upsetting, but just to correct you anyways, you are missing an "e" from your "the.
The_Hitdude 12
Ha, no it's fine. Correct me if necessary
MeLuvBewbs 7
At least ur mum wasn't like, "Hey Sweetie! Come with me and we'll take a look back at the memories in your room, starting with your sex life."
geod69 8
Question is did she use it first