Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
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Top comments
aimferd 4
Hope she didnt use it...
TheChowski 2
She was just trying to shake things up a bit!
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Comments (185)
clownpocket74 1
Did it smell funny? Did it have a weird taste?
Savra_fml 17
So the first thing you would think about when you find your vibrator neatly placed next to your pillow is to sniff it and pop in in your mouth to see how it tastes?
KittyJay 3
So you went 6 weeks without your vibrator? And why didn't you bring it with you? It's better to keep personal stuff like that with you...
julia_lynn 21
I dunno if you've traveled with a vibrator, but it can be pretty embarrassing when TSA rifles through your stuff and starts questioning you about it.
Dracoboxer357 36
I dunno, if I owned a sex toy, I'd rather it be found be a stranger I'll never see again than a parent that used to change my diapers. ;) And how many questions can they realistically ask you about a *****/vibrator? Frequency of use? If it counts as carry on luggage? If it comes in royal blue? ;)
julia_lynn 21
LOL! It depends on the TSA agent. The women tend to see it and smile knowingly, a lot of the guys act like creepers - from winking to asking a bunch of questions until they finally catch on what it actually is. XD
Dracoboxer357 36
Ah. Yes, the creepy guy leering over a personal stimulation device would be weirder than a parent pretending not to have seen it at all. Never dealt with the TSA, was under the impression they were supposed to be rigidly professional. I still don't see the big deal about learning that a girl might enjoy solo sex like most of the male population. "Woooooo! I have proof, this woman Right Here likes to play with her ******! Oh my God!!!" :p Weirdos. Oh, and thanks for clearing that up for me. :)
julia_lynn 21
Haha, your mom is hilarious. Seriously though, it could have been worse. At least she didn't throw it out or replace it with bible tracts - something my mom did when she found condoms in my suitcase whenever I came home from college once.
ninjacapo 2
What i dont get is why op didnt bring it or her long vacation :p
lylotrezor 20
Just because OP's mother found her vibrator does not mean she used it. I mean, would any of you use your child's sex toy? Also, while having her finding it is embarrassing, it's not the end of the world unless you make it so. My mother found my vibrator once, so what?
teamjacob21 0
It is if your a dude
lost_ginger 7
That's why when I leave the house I take whatever I don't want someone to find ydi for having it somewhere it can be found
perdix 31
I hope she polished it for you and inserted fresh batteries.
rattusrattus 19
Maybe she thought you were a werewolf hunter when she found your silver bullet. :P
ilove80smetal 8
Sounds like her 6 week vacation from you was very pleasurable too
kristen69 0
That's why u keep ur room clean or hide it in a better spot then under ur mattress. I told my mom I had one when we decided to remodel our house. All she said was mastrabation is a normal thing and it's actually healthy for u. So don't be embarrassed that's she found it.