Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
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Top comments
aimferd 4
Hope she didnt use it...
TheChowski 2
She was just trying to shake things up a bit!
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Comments (185)
Dommon 7
mom knows best :)
bubo_fml 11
I was at the airport recently & TSA searched a lady's bag...They pulled out a collection vibrators & dills for all to see...They were all smirking like a buncha FML readers...(Wait a minute, gotta wipe the smirk off my face!)
OctoberRainfall 13
aw, it shouldn't be allowed to search someone's bag out in the open. someone did that to me, eccept it was tampons in the bag :/
MyGrlzFly 4
Maybe mom forgot to put it back?!?!?!
GoldLace 1
YDI masturbating is wrong and disgusting
lantern 6
At least she didn't take it
4x4master 3
At least you didn't find it missing
SheepShoop_fml 20
Well she knows now... I suggest getting a little plastic box (Sterilite or Rubbermaid, that sort of thing), wrapped up the vibe and putting it somewhere in the room. Under the bed is a bad place for it...collects dust and whatever else. And with a little box you can get something else too. Just make sure they're separate so you don't have any weird chemical issues going on (ie most gel or vinyl toys are the devil and will ruin something superior like silicone)
Ololo_fml 16
Common, do it with a real one
_MidnightLuna_ 17
Maybe we would if you men knew how to do it right.
Ololo_fml 16
Then just show how to do it right.
_MidnightLuna_ 17
While it was nice of her to clean your room for you... It's still very irritating to have your parents going through your belongings. Whether it's for a good cause or not, it's an invasion of privacy. At the very least, I hope she didn't bring it up to you.. that'd just be humiliating!
SwtCherryPie 26
If you are still living with mommy and daddy you have no such thing as privacy. Considering she is buying sex toys I would assume she is over 18. If she wants privacy she needs to move out otherwise get over it, they are your parents regardless of how much you cry its unfair or an invasion of privacy you are under THEIR roof and they can do what they want in their house. Maybe she should have thought of a better place to put it or maybe taken it with her if she thought something like this would happen. Her own fault sorry to say.
kalbrek009 20
I agree 139, children don't understand that under 18 their "right to privacy" is what the parents deem private & usually ONLY extends to "showering & changing clothes" NOT to hiding "adult" items or drugs/alcohol that are usually illegal (in most states) for minors to possess in the first place. 18 or older, they need to not be such slobs & live by the house rules or get their own place.
funnynesh 10
I guess she was just proving that you can't hide anything from parents?