Kids: You're under arrest

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 604

You deserved it 10 232

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By hfs palm - 21/06/2015 21:37 - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 636

You deserved it 2 539

Reported!

By thatcreepyteacher - 17/02/2016 04:27 - United States - Mchenry

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 1 435

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 04:44 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 851

You deserved it 2 515

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 567

You deserved it 10 070

By notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 533

You deserved it 6 384

What's your emergency?

By Anonymous - 06/04/2020 23:00

Today, I found out that because I'm a cop, my 5-year-old son thinks the only way he can contact me is by calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 821

You deserved it 308

Temper tantrum

By "QueenCortana Tiffany Turner" - 07/02/2020 14:00

Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 293

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 285

You deserved it 355

Mad lad

By Bob H. - 26/10/2014 13:54 - Canada - Québec

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 796

You deserved it 5 414

By swarm20 - 05/02/2013 05:24 - United States - Mankato

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 500

You deserved it 52 393

13BlackCat 2

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:44

why that is the first thing that came to his teacher's mind i don't know. my first thought was cop. i think the teacher has his or her mind in the gutter

shorgenfunkel 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:49

Go to the school in uniform.

Comments

brwneyedgrl1989 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:21

#80 it was the parents room what the hell was the kid doing in there in the fist place

Warkitten 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:24

IMO, either the average age or the average IQ of most respondents is around 13. Look here kiddos, first of all, a cop had better be tough enough to withstand obviously false accusations and stupid comments, or they should not be a cop. When I was a kid we used to talk all sorts of crap to cops, knowing that within certain exceptions, we could not be arrested for exercising our right to free speech (in America). Second, handcuffs are not a lethal weapon. Did you know that all law enforcement handcuffs are common keyed? And those keys are available to the public. Third, if this was a real cop, and he had a kid, he probably had a wife too. Ever hear of role playing????!!!!! LOL

vt_mruhlin 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:30

#1 well, the thing submitter didn't say is that they were the fuzzy pink kind of handcuffs. Saying "I'm a cop" doesn't necessarily exclude the possibility of also being into kinky sex.

ozac 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:33

You should arrest her for stupidity and being ignorant to notice the difference between the cuff types Obviously the teachers never seen a real set of handcuffs before. I feel sorry for your kid having to learn from her.

Go_for_it 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:35

That really sounds awkward for the teacher, but, hey, if she's cute you could always have asked her what HER handcuffs look like when you went to unlock your kid.

Misanthropist 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:36

Cuff play is awesome :) and so are kinky cops!

RDMC20 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:43

#79, you clearly have never come in contact with cuffs, they cant be lockd closed, they'll just keep pushing through the loop, they only lock one way, thus only when a wrist stops them from going completely through the other side....and no, not an FML, AND I'd like to know what kind of desks these are that have an area kids can be locked to...wouldnt you just lift it up and slide the cuff off the leg? what kind of oldass school are we talking here where chair legs are bolted to the floor?