Kids: You're under arrest

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 604

You deserved it 10 232

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Same thing different taste

By hfs palm - 21/06/2015 21:37 - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 636

You deserved it 2 539

Reported!

By thatcreepyteacher - 17/02/2016 04:27 - United States - Mchenry

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 1 435

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 04:44 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 851

You deserved it 2 515

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 567

You deserved it 10 070

By notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 533

You deserved it 6 384

What's your emergency?

By Anonymous - 06/04/2020 23:00

Today, I found out that because I'm a cop, my 5-year-old son thinks the only way he can contact me is by calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 821

You deserved it 308

Temper tantrum

By "QueenCortana Tiffany Turner" - 07/02/2020 14:00

Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 293

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 285

You deserved it 355

Mad lad

By Bob H. - 26/10/2014 13:54 - Canada - Québec

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 796

You deserved it 5 414

By swarm20 - 05/02/2013 05:24 - United States - Mankato

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 500

You deserved it 52 393

13BlackCat 2

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:44

why that is the first thing that came to his teacher's mind i don't know. my first thought was cop. i think the teacher has his or her mind in the gutter

shorgenfunkel 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:49

Go to the school in uniform.

Comments

reaver57 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:10

Lame... not an fml story really I mean all you had to do is say im a cop, or the teacher should know by now, unless of course you've never gone to conferences, met with the teacher for any reason in that case IM gonna have to say thats an fml story... I dont care enough about my kid FML there ya go

opalitepetals 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 21:06

??? when I was in school and going to conferences my parents occupation never once came up. The conference was about me, not what my parents do for a living.

McLaughlane 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:16

hahaha aww. I'm the daughter of 2 cops and I never did shit like that. He was probably trying to make a statement.

arques 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:16

Stupid teacher for assuming they where a sex toy unless they where fuzzy in which case I'm sure you really freak out the people you arrest when you slap those bad boys on their wrists. Secondly, stupid kid for handcuffing himself to a desk. Thirdly you should probably be more careful with your handcuffs. Yea they're not dangerous but still, they're not toys either.

KhaleesiKitten 14

Thursday 9 July 2015 11:53

mine aren't fuzzy...they are police grade

czechitout 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:18

I think that's more of an FML for the teacher! If I were him/her, and I had said that, but later found out the student's father was a cop, I'd be embarrassed!

Rodjmeister 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:22

OH the kid handcuffed himself to the desk. it took me a bit to get that. and yeaaaahh handcuffs aren't always sex toys.

breterson 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:27

This is totally unacceptable by the teacher. I myself am a teacher, and know what my students' parents do for a living, so as not to make a ridiculous mistake like this!

Ikasu 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:30

What you should do is take them off your son and put them on the teacher!

cprompt 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:35

#15, I wish you hadn't beaten me to it.

agexofxaquarius 2

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:36

LOL Sex toy or not, try and keep your handcuffs on a tall shelf where your kid can't get a hold of them and do something like that!

AlexJakubsen1 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:37

teachers piss me off. she has no right to tell you what to do with your sex toys. she just needed to take care of the situation and sit her overpayed ass the **** down.