Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
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Top comments
grahmagog 14
Clean your ears more often and you'll understand why
ManInTheMachine 20
Sounds like he found his q-spot.
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Comments (89)
olpally 33
Thats just weird. Haha.
graceinsheepwear 34
So you've learned that his ears are an erogenous zone. And that they're clean. So nibble at them and see what happens. Think of it as an ear-ly warning system to gauge his arousal.
MrConcise 35
This FML confused me grammatically. Anyhow, your boyfriend has an ear fetish. I suggest dressing as a sexy Link, that dude has fine lobes.
Futacy 30
I don't mean to mud up the water, but I don't think he was really cleaning out his ears.
darwinism 30
Just tell him to think of your ****** as one big wet ear and see how that goes. Maybe he will start making noises neither of you have heard before.
perdix 31
With his weird ear fetish, you just better hope he doesn't wind up getting hearing AIDS.
Enslaved 38
My boyfriend thinks I like it in the ear because every time he tries to put it in my mouth-- I turn my head. :P
davincidasecond 24
Well, cleaning ears (especially with some warm water) feels pretty good. I just hope he doesn't do it WHILE you two have sex, that would be the weirdest shit I've ever heard of
jenn1808 16
Sadly, I've heard of weirder shit. The Internet is full of horrible surprises.
davincidasecond 24
Well, in his defense cleaning ears (especially with some warm water) feels pretty damn good. I just hope he doesn't do it WHILE you two have sex, that would be the weirdest shit I've ever heard of.
DeBoss 8
So? He just enjoying it!
processengineer 9
sometimes its loke quenching the un scratch able itch