Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
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Top comments
grahmagog 14
Clean your ears more often and you'll understand why
ManInTheMachine 20
Sounds like he found his q-spot.
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Comments (89)
omgthisisgay 10
I love cleaning my ears. It's just like when you have a cast on and use a stick to get in there to scratch. Feels amazing. :)
KeepCalm007 4
That's awkward....
exo_went_insane 12
At least now you know he's not faking anything ;)
vegeta77 4
Who cares? This is so dumb. Girls get upset over the dumbest shit.
badgirl00069 19
omg I love cleaning my ears Lol so know this feeling
venus89 17
He cleans his ears during sex? You guys are putting wrong sticks in the wrong holes.
Larry01_fml 19
now you know what to do to please him!:)
SwtCherryPie 26
In his defense, cleaning your ears feels amazing, even if it can be unsafe.
MooseKnuckle5150 13
So what? It feels ******* awesome. If they made vibrating Q-tips, I'd all over that shit
pjiceman96 7
i am gonna be real.... a,Qtip in your ear.feels.good